Chronicles of an eclectic

Swiss missing

2009-10-26T08:23:00.000+08:00

This morning, while I was working on our mugs of hot choco for breakfast, I subconsciously told Vincent, "Sana pala nag-uwi ako ng Swiss coffee mugs...bigla 'kong na-miss ang Geneva a!", to which he replied, "Well, it's been a year."

Yes, it's been a year. This time last year, I was just counting the days until I'm finally back home. But I still very well recall that, along with the excitement of coming home was the ripping feeling that I was leaving Geneva, and was not sure if I'll ever get to see Switzerland again. I remember telling Tet and LK (always had lunch with them at work) a few days after my internship was over, that I'm going to miss Geneva after all. It was a totally out of the blue remark, a half-banter in between, and I knew I blew them away with it. Si Teng ba 'yan?! They knew how much I desperately wanted to fast-forward everything just to get home, and then there I was, having my touching moment. I, too, was surprised at myself when I expressed that.

That was so a year ago. But the Swiss links are still very much on fire! We still have choco dragees in the fridge and enjoy the fruit tea every so often (Thanks, Peachie!). Above all, the amazing memories and friendships will never be taken away from me.

Craving...

2009-03-03T17:08:00.000+08:00

...for this:

This used to be my staple snack (besides Maltesers) during my "quiet times" at my office space at the ILO. Been bugging my husband to bring me home a box of this. Sana lang 'di malusaw agad.

All in a day's work

2009-02-23T08:56:00.000+08:00

The challenge of a true manager is really, to manage. To administer. To be on top of everything.

The manager's challenge is to be a manager, no matter what happens. Just as doctors are to their patients, to be objective about decision-making does not mean one is being heartless. And when decisions are made, they are justified. The heart is there.

In the end, it's just all in a day's work. And for some, going home at the end of the day is the best happy ending of all.

Not for barfing

2009-02-14T05:07:00.000+08:00

My first encounter of an air sickness bag not used as such was when a friend gifted me with VCDs wrapped in a PAL barf bag for Christmas years ago. I thought it was "economical and resourceful". Imagine, all he needed to do was to nick a barf bag from an airplane and then turn it into a gift wrapper. Cool, diba? Wala pang gastos

However, my fixation on barf bags took off when I was on my first flight out to Geneva. And no, I wasn't thinking of converting it into a gift wrapper. I was meaning to use it for packaging my lunch kit when I start going to the ILO. I was able to take home two barf bags from Etihad (the airline I boarded). I was pleased with their sturdy bags.

Etihad's

When a friend in Geneva went to Johannesburg for a mission trip a few months ago, she not only brought home for me a barf bag. She even gave me Air France's amenity kit, as she travelled business class. Air France's barf bag isn't the durable kind, but the amenity kit is definitely a hit! I still use the purse, minus the blinders, socks, earplugs and all.

Air France's

Since then, I would always ask my husband, my friends or whoever I know will travel by plane to bring me home a barf bag. When Vincent and I went to Palawan last December, we were able to bring home four PAL barf bags. This bag is classy:

PAL's

Vincent is going to Geneva for a meeting next month. I'm curious if KLM's barf bags are tough or not. As early as now, I wouldn't quit bugging him to bring me home four of these:

KLM's

I'll think about barfing next time

Still remember Serg's?!

2009-01-09T03:47:00.000+08:00

Chico and Delamar's top ten yesterday morning was about extinct brands or products. Vincent and I were just laughing at breakfast while recalling them. Napaghahalata ang katandaan! Hahaha! It was fun, though.

Some brands that were texted in were (from what I can randomly summon up):

Superwheel (bar detergent)
Ola -- ang pinong panlaba (that pink bar detergent)
Klim (it's milk spelled backwards. Lea Salonga was just in ponytails when she endorsed this)
Dahlia -- ang sabon ng mga artista (beauty soap)
Nano nano (that sweet, sour and salty candy)
Pritos ring (junk snack)
YC bikini briefs (sige na, kantahin n'yo na)
Mighty kid (rubber shoes)
Prell (shampoo)
Gee, your hair smells terrific (manang, pabili po ng...gee, your hair smells terrific)
Stayfree (sanitary napkins)
Tarzan and Bazooka Joe bubble gum
Benson's éclairs
Nutri bun

And then there's Serg's chocolate bar. Now this is my blast from the past! Bigla 'ko itong na-miss. In high school, I used to eat two bars (yes, two!) of Serg's after having lunch. Lunch was not lunch without it. It was something I can't live without at that time. How simple were my pleasures back then, ano?

Grateful

2009-01-04T11:23:00.000+08:00

I thought I lost it, as I didn't have it two years ago. Maybe I was too happy to worry at that time. But the New Year jitters didn't spare me.

I usually get emotional and anxious, more often, about the incoming year. Anxious about sickness...and even deaths in the family. What will the challenges be in my life and family in the year to come? Since getting married nearly thirteen months ago, may nadagdag sa anxieties 'ko. Will I be ready for motherhood this year? Will the goals I share with my husband materialize at the end of 2009?

I knew I was too focused on the negative and I didn't like myself being that way. I was in my moping and brow-crossed state, until I heard the message at church at New Year's Eve. And then it hit me. If I was able to entrust my 2008 to God, why can't I do the same with my 2009? Instead of being apprehensive, why can't I just be grateful for 2008 and excited for 2009? I wouldn't get a year back of my age if I wallowed away my new year, would I?

2008 was a year of blessings and trials for my family, but overall, it was a good year. For starters, my husband walked with me all throughout the year, and he will be with me from that year on until we grow old! My husband and I had the best first anniversary honeymoon, I had no problems with my health, I was able to cut back my major loans, I was able to see Europe again after four years, and had the best international internship experience in Switzerland! I may have struggled big and small, but I've also had so many answered prayers to compensate all that. No room for complaints.

I am claiming 2009 as yet another awesome year for me. I can't wait to rake it all in!

P.S. I haven't blogged in anything here since November, but ever since coming back home three months ago, everything is bliss

Swiss miss: Wrapping up

2008-11-01T05:10:00.001+08:00

Three months' worth.

Thursday concluded my internship saga in the ILO Library. As I would always tell my friends here, it was all two months' worth of work and one month's worth of homesickness. I actually spent my last two days finishing up my activity report, polishing my project, having coffee with the technical specialist who helped me work on my project, and cleaning up the desk and PC which I called mine for quite a long while.

I didn't do the goodbye rounds to my colleagues, as what I originally thought of doing. I just sent a Thank You email to all of them instead. To my surprise, and for the irony of it all, I became emotional. I didn't don my temporary office with picture frames and curtains, but I somehow felt attached to it, much more, to my everyday routine at work. Subconsciously, I got used to the quietness of our office hallway, with only me (and later, another intern) playing my online radio (go Magic and RX!) to break the silence a bit. "Goodbye, desk." was what I said before turning off the lights and leaving the office for the last time.

Who I was for 3 months.

I will be back on Monday though, the day before I fly back home. I need to give back the library key (which opens all doors in the library) to the secretariat and then turn over my Swiss legitimation card to the HR. The secretary said I can keep the ILO badge as a souvenir. I never liked my mugshot in that badge, but I am keeping it just the same. Who knows, I might need it again in the future ;)

This was my first international work experience and I never felt more accomplished professionally, even though it was just a limited engagement. Truthfully, the last three months has beaten my eleven years of library experience back home. This was no doubt a professional eye-opener for me. It was the best...so far.

I am very grateful to God for this blessing which at one point, I thought of not claiming. NO REGRETS. It was all worth the claim.

Swiss miss: "Keep in touch."

2008-10-24T23:41:00.001+08:00

I still have ten days to go here in Geneva, and four days left for my internship. October 31st is supposedly my official last day at work though, but as I still have a four-day leave more to my name (I have 2.5 days per month and earned all 7.5 total for 3 months), I took advantage of taking one off, that being on the 31st. I figured that this is the best time for me to go around the office district, have lunch with my former grade school classmate who now works at WHO, and then head to the ISO to buy that ISO document Ate Verna asked me to get for the Educ library (to be reimbursed, of course. Mahal e! Hehehe).

For this, the ILO Library threw out an early farewell drinks for me last night. From time to time, the library people hold occasional TGIF drinks, but since I won't be there anymore on Friday next week, and my supervisor will be away that entire week as well, they decided to do it one Friday in advance. This led some colleagues to believe that yesterday was my last day. In fact, three of them knocked on my door to bid me their goodbyes, give their congratulations and expressed their best wishes -- a gesture which I deeply appreciated. It was indeed a shame to say three times that no, I will still be going to work until Thursday. Good thing it just made them all smile! Hehehe. So on Thursday, I'm thinking of doing the office rounds myself :)

We were a relatively small group last night (most colleagues were on a holiday), but it was a wonderful, simple party. As usual, I had to make myself drink wine. I get really upset stomach whenever I take in liquor, but well, I risked it. It was a cocktail party and we had about eight bottles of wine on the table! I had one shot each of two different types of wine and man, by the time they started exchanging chit-chats in French, my head was floating and my tummy was churning embarrassingly.

Mid-way through the party, my supervisor gave an informal speech. She commended me for my work and after that, everyone raised their party cups for a toast. They gave me a going-away gift: a set of ILO souvenirs, which I really liked. One was a set of blank any day cards. "That's for you to keep in touch", they told me. "Expect to get the same cards from me, with my greetings, of course. Each of you will get one!", I said to them. We all laughed!

As the wine got the better of me, I needed to excuse myself sooner. I waved goodbye to everyone and before I left the room, my supervisor -- who I won't probably get to see anymore but hopefully do the day before I fly back home -- stressed, "Keep in touch, Christine." Words like those coming from a straight-forward Russian woman, who seldom gets personal, is something else to me. I firmly replied, "Yes, I will." And yes, I really will.

Swiss miss: My just reward

2008-10-14T04:47:00.000+08:00

I finally made a demo of my almost three-month old internship project before my colleagues in the ILO Library this morning. That was like the climax of it all, much like a thesis defense presentation in graduate school. I'm happy that it turned out really well. I'm just waiting for some documents to be digitized, have the website translated into French and Spanish (I mentioned before that the ILO is trilingual), and then make the three sites public before I come back home. I even surprised myself when I said to them, "My goal is to see all of these up and running within two weeks. I'm here until October 31st, so I still have time." It wasn't really necessary for me to say the last sentence, but well, out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks.

Everything else went slow-motioned after this morning. I congratulated myself with a cold Coke in can at lunch, and a pack of Maltesers!

Yey to me!

Swiss miss: Fast-forward

2008-10-05T23:27:00.002+08:00

My ticker is now counting down in days!

And remember my not so favorite part of the apartment?
Here's the view from the balcony this morning (while I was hanging my clothes to drip):

Snow-capped mountains!

Swiss miss: Parlez-vous Français?

2008-10-03T23:27:00.001+08:00

Knowing all the costs that I will literally and figuratively face, I finally decided to go to Geneva and push through with this internship early this year. Although the process of getting here wasn't at all a piece of cake -- involving money, connections and of course, tons of faith, my husband and I just knew that I had to grab hold of this opportunity. And so I came here with my huge trolley and camping backpack, armed with my thin stack of survival French basics: "Bonjour!", "Au revoir!", "Merci beau coup!", "Bon appetit!", "Excuse-moi", "S'il vous plait" and "Pardon". With these phrases plus my skill at charades, I knew I will have no problems getting around the city. Besides, I have good command of one official UN language (English, of course), so that will do. Not learning French won't really hurt.

But just now I realized, it does sometimes. And whenever any UN human resource office would say, "Knowledge of spoken and written French is an advantage", believe me, they mean well.

Yesterday morning, I took over the reference desk to relieve my colleague for his coffee break. I have been given Reading Room duty since August, and although I'm up for the challenge, being seated there isn't quite exactly my favorite thing. To me, reference duty is a struggle and the reading room is my battlefield. Yesterday wasn't any different. It was the last day of the World Microfinance Forum here, and since their venue is right next to the library, many bankers in black suits came in and out of the reading room during their session breaks. Some were just checking out the library, a handful lounged by the sofas, while others meant serious business.

One lady found me at the reference desk and sensing the earnestness in her, I believed she needed help with something in the collection. After the customary exchange of bonjours, she launched on to me in French. I smiled and interrupted her, apologizing that I don't speak nor understand French. The eagerness in her face slowly faded away. She really needed something, I knew so well. Using contextual clues, I somehow managed to decipher her next question: when will my French-speaking colleague be back on the desk? At that point, my knack for charades automatically kicked in. I pointed at my wristwatch and counted up to twelve using my fingers, telling her that my colleague will be back by 12 noon. She nodded, said "Merci beau coup (thank you very much)", and then went ahead. I figured she was good at charades. At the same time, I also felt insecure.

That was not the first time I assisted a pure Francophone, though. But that was the first time I felt so limited. I would've helped the lady find what she's looking for, but because of my inability to speak the language, I couldn't do anything more. It's frustrating and sometimes embarrassing. I sat twice on our staff meetings and I wasn't able to say and contribute much because when my colleagues get carried away, they speak French all throughout. I would have to drag myself whenever my colleagues throw out occasional TGIFs (cocktails) in the library, for the simple reason that I couldn't socialize in French and it really feels terribly awkward. Don't get me wrong, my colleagues are friendly and sensitive, and I must say I am fortunate to have had the opportunity to work with them. But just like me back home, they will converse in their mother tongue, of course.

I had the chance to express this to one of my colleagues, who is an English speaker. He's taking up French lessons thrice a week at the ILO, so he is conversant in French. He told me he can relate. He does charades too! But with Spanish-speaking clients. We both laughed at our ridiculousness.

I'm not alone in the boat after all :)

Swiss miss: Bonjour, October!

2008-10-01T05:04:00.002+08:00

Since I had the longest two months ever, October seemed so far away once upon a time. But now, my sweet October has come!

To those of you who knew about my homesickness saga, you will understand perfectly well why this month is so important to me. My twelve Mondays are now down to just five. While I despised my airport bus stops for the longest time, I now gaze at it with so much anticipation and excitement (mind you, I already memorized where my airline check-in counter is located!). I am now half-stressed about going around to check the sights and sounds of Geneva and visiting its neighboring cities, as I only have five weekends left. Things suddenly started whirling at top speed, which made me feel like I have tons of catching up to do!

I remember saying something about leaves turning yellow and heaters coming on -- that these will tell me that I'm going to go home soon. Well, it's all happening...

View from the ILO building's 5th floor window

And look at my ticker...

I AM SO COMING HOME!!!

Swiss miss: Fall is coming

2008-09-16T03:04:00.002+08:00

http://www.bbc.co.uk/weather/

I've been constantly in check of the weather since mid-August (if my faulty memory serves me right), mainly, for rain. I'm not an umbrella person, so I'm always on the look out when I should bring an -- or in my earlier days, kidnap my flatmates' -- umbrella. Interestingly, weather forecast here is something you can depend on 99% of the time. Upon learning that, I would always see to it that I print the forecasts at the beginning and end of the week, and prop it up (that, plus the bus time tables) on my study desk at home. It's not an obssessive-compulsive thing. I just need to keep myself in check all the time (e, OC nga).

Since I've been accustomed to this (ay, OC nga talaga), I noticed some changes these past days. Sunrise and sunset have been extended and shortened to 30 minutes respectively. I thought it only gets cold after a downpour, but judging from this week's 5-day forecast, I'm now thinking twice. Could it be that autumn is really coming on in full swing?

I was bragging to my husband that I now have rosy cheeks (naks!) because of the cool breeze. This morning however, when I felt the cold, damp air on my face (while steam escapes from my nose and mouth as I breathe) on my way to work, I got worried. I can feel my face and lips going dry and am feeling a little itchy again because of the cold climate. I guess it's time to bathe on body lotion twice over and then wear my second skin.

Oh, wait. If autumn indeed has come, I only have a few weeks left to stay here then :)

Swiss miss: Rainy days

2008-09-13T19:18:00.002+08:00

Our workweek was shortened to three days this week. The city observed Jeune Genevois (Genevan fast) last Thursday, but the ILO decided to close office until Friday, therefore, a four-day holiday. I've been dreading this long holiday since last month for the simple reason that I have no idea where to go with who. I'm not sure if I will thank the weather for completing the picture for me. Rain started pouring down since the start of the holiday, today being day 3. It seems that I'm holing up indoors after all. I did manage to go out yesterday afternoon and strolled along the old town before heavy rains started hammering down again. I won't risk doing that today, though. It's minimum 10 degrees low outside. I got up late this morning, thinking that it's still dawn, when it's already past 10. That's how dark it was (and still is) outside.

Since I've known this dreadful holiday for weeks, I somehow anticipated everything. I stacked up for the rainy days, so to speak, not even knowing that rain is going to come down. I have more food than usual . And now that I'm stoned in my room, I am again full of random thoughts.

I was reading the news over Inquirer.net earlier on. The article about the anomalous C-5 project made me sigh. Then I listened to the episodic noise of cars passing the avenue nearby. "Circus pa rin sa atin (We are still in circus)", was what came out of my mouth. Many people are still greedy. Whenever I see the very efficient transportation system, the electronic police monitoring the roads, and the disciplined motorists here, I can't help but feel the pangs of cruel treatment, especially of people in power, back home. My collection of ifs is slowly piling up. "Kung ganito lang sana sa Pilipinas (If only the Philippines is like this)...". "Siguro kung sa Pilipinas 'to nangyari, malamang (If this happened in the Philippines, maybe)..." . I can only pray and pray hard for my country.

On a totally different subject, I remember asking a friend here if she has ever seen Swiss miss or St. Ives apricot scrub in grocery stores and pharmacies here. I thought these are supposedly Swiss made and for the longest time, I've never caught sight of these in stores. She said neither did she. I told her, maybe these are US made. Today I learned that indeed, they are. They're just Swiss-inspired. Swiss miss (ConAgra Foods) for the Swiss chocolates and St. Ives for the Swiss formula. European shops do not usually patronize stateside products.

So given that, should I change my Swiss miss blog entries to Swiss-inspired? I think I better not. I'm too lazy to edit

Swiss miss: Immunity

2008-09-10T00:33:00.001+08:00

I'm now immune to:

Geneva's airport. I mentioned a couple of times before that I live near the airport. I never wanted to stay in our apartment balcony because I see planes flying off every five minutes from there. But because I go here everyday to take the next bus to work, and this being the only place where shops are open on Sundays, I really have no choice but BE in the airport. I just can not avoid this place. There were moments when I cry silent as I stand waiting for the bus to come. But now, not anymore. I even sent my friend off twice up to the pre-departure area when she left Geneva. No more tears.

QWERTZ, the Swiss-German kezboard. It has the Y and Z interchanged, plus umlauts (i.e., ü, ä), and some punctuations put in other places different from the English keyboard. Surprisingly, it is quite easy to navigate, as it is closer to the latter. In fact, I didn't bother requesting our Library's IT person to change my keyboard at work. Although I'm not so sure if I will have a hard time reverting back to QWERTY when I come home. That remains to be seen

Dead weekends. I dread weekends here. For some reason, everything stands still, especially on Sundays. For this, I thank my routines. They keep me busy during these days.

Peaceful bus rides. Everyday is the same: buses are punctual and drivers are respectful to passengers and pedestrians. I sometimes find it boring. No pounding stereos (in an afterthought, nami-miss ko na!) The next best thing to loudspeakers is the computerized voice announcing "prochain arret (next stop)...", prompting passengers get ready to hop off the bus if it is their stop.

I have been secretly wishing to see a commotion to happen in the bus, just to distract the blissful monotony going around. And then one day, I got my wish. On my way to work one morning, the bus driver hit the brakes hard. He slid open his window and yelled at a private car. I didn't understand what he was saying, but judging from his gestures (parang charades, hahaha!), it seemed that the car swerved by the bus lane, something that private cars are prohibited from doing (buses strictly follow their dedicated lanes, keeping them prompt to arrive on all stops on schedule). As this excited me more than scared it me, I quickly turned around (I was seated up front) to check on my co-passengers' mixed reactions. "Uy, bago 'to!" I said to myself. Some were upset, probably because they can't afford a minute more of delay. But most were puzzled as if to say, "This can't happen. This is a peaceful bus."

Bag-your-own grocery. Unlike in the Philippines where there is a person being paid to sort out and bag your groceries while you pay, in Europe, it is no else' job but yours. The cashier is just the cashier. I usually panic when the cashier punches all my goods and when s/he's done, I haven't even teased my plastic bag open yet (at least here in Geneva, plastic bags are provided for free, but you will have to pay extra if you wish to get the reusable bags). I feel like I'm always in a race! But by virtue of constant practice and logical thinking (dairies go together, toiletries and dry goods on separate bags...), I have now mastered the skill. Hehehe.

My cooking. Wahaha! I don't really cook. But because I can't always afford to dine out (again for the record, everything here is expensive), I am compelled to cook and eat whatever it looks and tastes like. I just psyche myself that everything I cook is gourmet, so I would always end up with a clean plate. In effect, I eat a lot. I'm scared to go hungry. Hehehe.

Swiss miss: Ultimate survivor

2008-09-03T13:50:00.001+08:00

L-R: Scott, Mario, Kani and me

Last Monday and Tuesday, I had the chance to visit the WTO and the UN libraries, along with my co-interns here at the ILO library. I missed the WHO library visit, when in fact, WHO is the ILO's nearest neighbor (just across the street!). I had reference/reading room duty that morning that's why I wasn't able to join them.

Side story: All UN members (diplomats, employees, interns, etc.) carry their offices' badges, which is also an ID. The coolest thing about owning a badge (in my case, the ILO's) is that one can enter all UN offices in Geneva without going through the hassles of inspection. Just flash the badge before the security people, you get a nod and then you can go right in. Some of my colleagues even have lunch in other UN buildings' cafeterias.

Going back, the library visits were arranged by one of my co-intern's (Kani's) supervisor, as Kani's internship ends this week. I never had the chance to bond with my co-interns here, until this Monday, probably because my program/training is different from theirs. I'm the only intern who's done with school and has been practicing librarianship for ages, while they are working on an internship project which is probably thesis-/school-related. My office space is isolated from them, and I am treated as one of the regular staff. When I enter my "bat cave", I will never know what goes on outside.

I was too excited to finally get to spend time with my co-interns, only to find out that they are all leaving this month and I will be the only one left behind! Scott (USA) is leaving in 3 weeks, Mario (Spain) leaves tomorrow, Kani (Thailand) leaves this week, and Etienne (Switzerland, not in the photo) in two weeks time. I, on the other hand, still have October.

It's a shame that I didn't have the chance to get to know them, nor have lunch or coffee with them, after one month of being here *sighs*. Maybe a new set of interns will come next month. By then, I will only have weeks, but I will make sure that I build new friendships.

Swiss miss: Translation gone bad

2008-09-03T01:44:00.001+08:00

This is the sign posted on all female restrooms at the ILO:

A classic example of a language translated literally into another. I remember what my supervisor (UP Lib) once told me when she consulted a linguist to translate an English document to Filipino. The linguist told her that when one does translation, the document should bear the same thought and meaning when it is translated back to its original language. Obviously, the example above does not qualify.

Some people tried to correct the errors in other restrooms, though. But as evidenced by this one, perhaps the "Your cleaning team" hasn't seen it yet. Or more likely, they've had too many signs posted up already and it will be a lot of work (and this is the ILO, -- where decent work is the advocacy) to just take them all down.

I can only guess.

Swiss miss: 32 days and counting

2008-08-29T16:38:00.001+08:00

My 2nd abonnement. I'm done with month 1! I liiiiiiiive!!!

And then I never thought I would even survive!

What a roller coaster of a month it has been for me. When I first entered my apartment room in July, I was totally disoriented. I didn't know what to do next. Unpack? Sleep? Eat? I ended up curling in bed, still wearing that airplane smell, crying while cuddling Mumuy. The silence of my room was deafening. After all the sulking and drama, I later decided to unpack, take a bath and then wait for my flatmate to take me to the nearest mall (not as big as what we have in the Philippines, of course) to go get my abonnement (transport ticket renewable every month) and buy some food. I remember how flabbergasted I was the first time I saw the soaring prices of goods. I don't even remember buying a box of rice (at the International Foods section). Maybe I did get one, I'm not so sure.

The following day, my grumbling stomach woke me up at 3am -- 9am Philippine time. I got up and ate my very early breakfast at 3am! I went back to bed afterwards but got up again at 6am -- 12nn Philippine time. I had lunch at 6am.

As I've finished breakfast and lunch at 6am, I had nothing else to do. I wanted to explore the city since owning my abonnement. With my flatmates still drowsing in bed, I got dressed and readied myself to go out. Then the unthinkable happened: I couldn't open the main door. There was some sort of a trick with the key which I couldn't figure out. Fifteen minutes or so later, I managed to open it and then spent another fifteen minutes to lock it back but I couldn't do it. So I left and whistled away, leaving the door open to predators...Another hurdle was the main door of the apartment building. Again I tried but I couldn't get it open! I ended up hitting number 3 in the elevator, and then I'm back to where I started. My flatmates later taught me the twisting stuff with the key but couldn't believe I was that stupid not to get the building's main door open.

That was a month ago. Now I'm cherishing my second abonnement, staring lovingly at 29.09.2008. Soon it will be 29.10.2008 and then that will be the last. No more one month renewal because I will then be heading back home!

I'm still jetlagged, by the way. Not with sleep, though (I fell down twice from my bed on my first week subconsciously thinking it was our wide bed back home) but with my eating schedule. On weekends, I still get up at 6am, no matter how sleepy I am, just to have "lunch".

Swiss miss: Going Swiss

2008-08-25T12:35:00.001+08:00

I was in the supermarket yesterday meaning to buy a can opener, but ended up getting more:

I've always wanted to own a genuine Swiss army knife, but back home it's heavy in the pocket. I'd rather get a pair of blouse and a cheap pair of flat shoes instead of this multi-tool, for the same price. At least here, I can pretend that it's just twenty pesos.

There's more tool with the cork screw, but my nails are chipping off from taking them all off, plus I'm scared to get myself unwanted cuts. So much for bragging. Hehehe.

Swiss miss: Linking Mexico to Geneva

2008-08-22T19:58:00.001+08:00

My husband has gone back home from Mexico for more than a week now. As there were very few fellow participants from the Philippines in that conference, he instantly made new friends with people from DOLE, DFA and other UN agencies. One of them was Peach. Vincent was so happy to have found a fellow UP alumni in the crowd! Peach was about his age, and so they clicked. In one of their conversations, he mentioned that I'm here in Geneva and will be here for the next two months. Peach works at the UN headquarters here and said that she'll be travelling back to Geneva right after the conference. Knowing how much I'm sore from homesickness, my husband was so excited at the thought that Peach and I could actually set up a time and meet while I'm here. Incidentally, Peach was once an intern at the ILO herself and her mother is friends with my landlord's mom. Things are beginning to fall into place, I should say.

Vincent mentioned Peach to me just once while he was in transit on his way back home. I never knew her contact details and my husband only knew her email address, which he often forgets handing out to me. I really had no way of getting hold of her. In short, I put aside the idea of meeting her personally.

To Vincent's right is Peach.

On a rainy Wednesday afternoon rush hour, my friend LK and I were standing near the door inside a jam packed bus, as we were headed downtown. An Asian girl hopped on the bus the next stop after the ILO's, and the moment she jumped in, she immediately recognized LK and joined in our Tagalog conversation. LK introduced me to her using my nickname (Teng). Somehow, she was able to make the connection because when we shook hands, she said, "Teng...Christine? Wife ni Vincent?" It was Peach. Grabe, I wanted to hug her at that moment! I thought to myself that this was the same Peach my husband exchanged stories with halfway across the globe. And now she's here with me -- on the bus! But I restrained myself from doing so kasi baka matumba ako. Hahaha! But I was so excited to have finally met her.

Her place is just two stops away from where she alighted, and since we were all standing in a moving bus, I just asked her to type in my cell phone her email address. We've been in touch through email since then.

Such a small, small world.

Swiss miss: Geneva, PHILIPPINES

2008-08-15T18:19:00.001+08:00

Once again, I am congratulating myself for surviving yet another workweek, and another week crossed out of my waiting calendar! Yey! Vincent and I are also celebrating our eight months together today as a married couple. Although miles and miles apart, still we hug!

Weather here has been unfriendly these past days and I'm quite sure it will be in the days to come. When it rains, it means cold temperature the day after. I would print out weather forecasts weekly just to tell me when to and when not to bring an umbrella (By the way, I don't own one. I nick my housemate’s. Hehehe). I feel that summer is about to end, though. I would always check on the leaves of the trees outside of my room window and see if they're turning yellow everyday. 'Pag nagdilaw na sila, ang tuwa 'ko lang. It will mean that autumn is just around the corner, therefore I have survived one month in this costly city. And when the heaters are fired up on all floors of the apartment building, it will tell me that it's October and just a few weeks more of waiting, I'll be finally coming home.

This week was rather exciting. I was able to find the only Filipino merchandise store in Geneva. When you enter the store, you are suddenly transported back to Manila. Maingay sa loob as fellow Pinoys exchange chit-chats, even if they are strangers to each other. They also offer money transfer service to the Philippines, so most Pinoys go there to send money back home. They also have a huge TV overhead where they show TFC programs. I was there for two straight days to accompany a friend (she's actually the one who took me there), and while waiting for her, I was watching Iisa Pa Lamang. Hehehe.

Since it has no competitors, ginto lahat ng presyo sa tindahang ito. But I didn't care. Thanks to this store, I had tuyo for breakfast this morning, I would have a teaspoonful of bagoong on my plate everytime I have dinner, I will have gata for my vegetables and will cook ginisang munggo this weekend! Haaay, ang sarap.

Oh, and the UP Singing Ambassadors will have their concert here on September 8th. I once sat down for lunch with a fellow UP alumna (who's a regular ILO employee) in the cafeteria this week. Pareho kaming nagbabaon ng lunch.

He said he misses UP. I told him, "Lalo na 'ko".

Swiss miss: Ting-ay gone missing

2008-08-11T18:12:00.001+08:00

I didn't get a decent sleep last night because I was subconsciously keeping track of my husband as he travels back to the Philippines. We were in a minus 7-hour timezone difference from where I am right now so when I am about to sleep, his day was just about to start. It's good that he's now back home surrendering to jetlag. As soon as he's gotten enough rest, we can at least catch up.

As his London-HK flight was delayed, he had to literally dash to his boarding gate as soon as he touched down in HK in order to make it to the boarding gate of his Manila-bound plane. He did make it to his seat, but later noticed that his carry-on bag was gaping open and realized that he was missing something. In the haste and panic, he dropped Ting-ay along the way!

Ting-ay is our little stuffed pup cuddler (read about him HERE). He's been with us for four years and losing him is truly heartbreaking. Vincent took Ting-ay along with him to Mexico while I took Mumuy, our cowlette cuddler, with me. Read the latest about them HERE.

So saaaad.

Swiss miss: It's Frrrriiiidaaaayyy!!!

2008-08-08T20:05:00.001+08:00

As the common expression here goes...Voila! I have Friday Madness on my computer. It's good to feel like I'm home. If it weren't for Magic, I wouldn't even realize that today is 080808, the opening of the Beijing Olympics, and lots of weddings taking place (good feng sui they say). Right now, it's almost 11PM in the Philippines while it's nearly 5PM here.

I go to work eight to five, but because I had an extended lunch break (I got together with new Pinay friends to send off another Pinay as her internship ends today), I should leave at around thirty-forty minutes past five. People respect the honor system so much here, at work and on public transport. Coming from an office where a bundy clock is god, this is something else. No one watches me from behind. I owe it all to the bundy clock training, though. My feet lead me to my office when I should be working.

Going back to the subject, I never really looked forward to weekends when I'm out of the country. In fact, I DREAD weekends here. It only means I need to work up a plan for me to get out of the apartment and let the days pass. Maybe ride several buses the whole day around town and walk back home, if only to kill time. But this weekend is not a problem for me. It's the culmination of Fetes de Genève (Geneva Festival). Lots of happenings going on around the edge of Lake Geneva. They say the fireworks are spectacular. I'll be going with my new Pinay friend I met here at the ILO.

I have a strong feeling that I'm going to be excited every Friday beginning today. It means I've survived five days equals one week scrapped off my waiting calendar. I also have a feeling that a wonderful surprise is in store for me in the weeks to come. I'm keeping the expectation :)

Happy weekend, people!

Swiss miss: Surviving Geneva

2008-08-01T16:56:00.001+08:00

I'm alive! After almost 20 hours of long haul, I'm here. Today is my fourth day in expensive Geneva (and I mean really expensive) and my first day at work at the ILO Library. But obviously no, I am not working. How's that for my first day? 'Wag tularan.

I actually went here yesterday just to be sure I won't get lost in my way on my first day and then get the feel of the place. Almost everybody here wears coat and tie, despite the scorching heat outside. Yes, summer is in its peak but because I came here overly prepared for the cold weather, I am to wear my turtle necks to work everyday beginning today. But right now, it's raining outside and as it is the classic me, I have no umbrella. There's a storm coming, I was told. Seems that I brought Cosme and Frank with me to Switzerland ('di tulad ninyo ni SA, Emang!).

Today is Swiss National Holiday. All offices and establishments are closed, EXCEPT for the dakilang International Labour Organization, although most people here in the Library, even my supervisor, are on a holiday. My supervisor left me with some readings, though. My other focal person gave me a tour of the Library and introduced me to some 15+ staff members but because of my faulty memory, I can only recall 4 names with the correct faces. I was shown into MY office, complete with PC, printer, phone, and soon, a name in MY door. Now that is overwhelming. But what overwhelms me more is the bulk of work laid for me. REALLY. I was told that by my mid-term, I will be a part of the team to revise the ILO Library's indexing and thesaurus guidelines. Whoah! I was blown away! Makes me not want to go back next week. Hehehe.

How am I doing really? The work, I can handle. But the loneliness whenever I enter my apartment room is unbearable. Add to that is the agony of seeing the airport everyday (as that is my bus stop to ride another bus to the ILO), giving me the feeling that I am sending off people back home while I stay behind, EVERY SINGLE DAY. I live just four short bus stops from the airport and I can see planes flying off every five minutes from our balcony (see photo). The balcony is my least favorite part of the apartment.

I want to go home.

Leaving in a few hours...

2008-07-28T06:31:00.001+08:00

After torturing the bathroom scale just for my luggage to make it to the 20kg-limit, I'm finally set to go. I've no idea as to when will I be able to post another entry, but for sure that will be soon.

All my shoes are in the bag, my tickets and papers are in. Yes, I'm ready to go. All set for the long haul.

See you in Geneva :)

Twelve Mondays

2008-07-22T12:50:00.001+08:00

By this time next week, I would probably be unpacking my stuffs in an apartment room alien to me (My apologies to those who thought I've already left because of my apparently 'misleading' blog entry I published previously. Panaginip lang po 'yon. Hehehe.). While I'm on to that, my husband would be in flight (probably somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean) to Mexico City.

The wallowing is coming on to me again. Truth is, I will miss my Vincent. Call me cheesy, I don't care. As we were sorting out our stuffs yesterday, I was chanting, "It's just going to be three months. Time flies like a speeding twister..." over and over again. And then Vincent said, "It's just going to be twelve Mondays. One down next week, tapos eleven na lang!"

From now on, I'm going to count in twelve Mondays. The feeling has changed from melancholy to excitement! And so is this ticker. That's me chasing the plane!

Cause and effects

2008-07-08T05:44:00.001+08:00

I just got to the apartment in Geneva and was starting to unpack my things. I had one small and one large luggage. The small one was stuffed with my clothes all in. When I opened the large one, expecting to see a lot more, I had the scare of a lifetime because what were in there were just a pair of sneakers and a whole bunch of plastic bags!

"Nasa'n na yung (where are my) passport, tickets at papeles 'ko?"
"Where are my office shoes?! I can't come to work on my sneakers!"

I was having rounds and rounds of panic attacks. I kept retracing my steps, cracking my head. Where have all the papers and the shoes gone?

"I can't have possibly reached this place without my passport and tickets, can I?"
"I've got to tell Vincent to send me the shoes."

Cause:
The trip three weeks (counting it in days makes it look darn too soon, so I'm not doing that) from now.

Effects:
1. Separation anxiety.
2. Travel stress.

Manifestation:
Travel nightmares.

The one above-retold was the latest I've had about two nights ago, aside from the two I related in my last post. The dream was like a continuing effect of the last activity I did that day i.e., shopping for weather-friendly clothes. I wasn't able to get everything in the bag, specifically, a pair of shoes for the office and a pair of new sneakers for any day strolls.

I've got to get those shoes. I can't afford one more shoe nightmare.

I want my own clock

2008-06-23T20:17:00.001+08:00

Truth is, I'm starting to get emotional little by little everyday. Whenever I look at the calendar lately, nostalgia wades in every time. If only I can have my own clock.

There is no doubt that my husband and I are totally excited about all the amazing things that's been coming along our way, most of which are products of incredible leaps of faith. Personally, I am grateful for everything. I am humbled by God's goodness. I just didn't realize soon enough that with every blessing that I receive, I have to prepare myself to take it and rake it all.

I'm beginning to have nightmarish dreams about going away. Weeks ago, I had this silly dream of not being able to exit the airport because my visa was torn apart in two, and I had to reattach it to my passport. And then two nights ago, I dreamt of not catching my plane for the oddest reason: I forgot to pack my bags...Maybe it's the stress. Though frankly, I don't think that that's just it.

I am not an amateur with long absences. This is not the first time that I'll be away from my loved ones. I know I shouldn't be wallowing this much. It's not like I'll be away forever. But it's an entirely different story this time. It's not easy.

As I am writing this, I would from time to time take a peep at my husband who is now fast asleep.

I will miss watching him in his sleep.

The return of the OCD checklist

2008-06-12T23:37:00.002+08:00

I'm going through another OCD moment here. Anyone who knows Bree van de Kamp (now Hodge, since remarrying) of Desperate Housewives knows what I'm talking about.

As I'm leaving next month for yet another stretch of European immersion, the stress of travel preps is slowly creeping in. Unlike my husband who flies almost every year both out of and around the country, I am not a frequent flyer. Prior to last year, the last time I boarded a plane was in 2004 -- my first time to go abroad. This will be my second time to go out of the country and visit the continent and my experience four years ago is definitely an advantage. I'm extra mindful of the culture and environment, the climate especially, and the clothes that will go along with it.

Yes, I am not into luggages. Anything that involves packing bags to me is a horrible nightmare. So what I did four years ago was to list down all my travel essentials in a handy notebook, which I started doing about a month before my trip. I noted down all personal effects that came into my mind practically everyday until I've had it all in the bag! I was scared of some things that I might forget. As early as three months before the trip, I already purchased a huge luggage. That's how obsessive-compulsive I was.

And now, I'm at it again. I remember that small notebook very well and I know I stowed it away somewhere. Vincent tells me to just forget about it and make another checklist, but I stubbornly insisted on sticking to it because I know I can never come up with another one like it. And so for days, I have been turning stuffs upside down around the house. I even went back to my cousins' house one day and burrowed my head down on all my stuffs that I have yet to move out from there, but the quest was in vain.

I haven't given up on it, though. This morning, I saw one storage box that I haven't checked out yet. I had a strong feeling that it could be in there. And eureka! My husband's head was shaking left and right while I was taking pictures of my precious notebook, page by page. Hahaha!

TOILETRIES --

CLOTHES --
"Why do you need to bring three pairs of pajamas?! One is enough!" My Chilean friend gushed when he saw this on the list.

PERSONAL EFFECTS --
Tabo (dipper) is a must bring must have!

"Have you seen Europe in the map?!" (as brownouts are taboo in developed countries), again asked by my bewildered Chilean friend.
"That's my security blanket," I told him.

SALVAGE GOODS --
At least I had something stacked away to eat before seeing the supermarkets there.

MEDICINES --
One thing I learned is that these things are expensive in their local pharmacies.

ACCESSORIES --
I didn't have a digital camera back then.

TRAVEL DOCUMENTS --
I brought lots and lots of ID pictures and photocopies of original documents, and I sure didn't regret bringing them along.

SCHOOL AND LEISURE STUFFS --

Denise and Vincent actually did the packing for me at that time. This one was Denise' handwriting (lola, naalala mo pa ba 'to?). She listed down all that should be stuffed in both the large and small luggages.

I can sleep well now. I have THE notebook! Weeeeee!!! :-)

A junket

2008-05-29T18:33:00.001+08:00

I'm into ILO readings these days. I'm doing this as part of my internship preps. On top of "virtually" familiarizing myself with my would-be workplace (at least for a couple of months), I have to read about some related literature: the Treaty of Versailles, the United Nations, labor rights and standards. As I'm not a newspaper and world history person, this is really challenging for me. I have to motivate myself to at least have a spark of interest about these things. It's a good thing that my husband is into these. He explains them like he's just teaching me how to cook scrambled eggs.

The International Labour Conference (ILC) is currently happening at the ILO, and of course, I'm keeping track of it as part of my "review". The ILC is an annual worldwide gathering of member states to craft and implement international labor standards. Each member state must send a delegation from the government (2 representatives), the employer sector, the worker sector, and then the advisers. I was curious as to who are the people sent there to represent the Philippines. Well, I wouldn't be surprised if our country will send a rather big party to sit up there, I know, but then again, the number astounded me! Thirty seven delegates! Personally, it was a government junket to me. Sa dami nilang 'yon, sana lang may ma-contribute silang kapaki-pakinabang sa labor and employment ng bansa natin.

I think my readings are working. I'm starting to get involved now.

Second thoughts

2008-05-27T05:55:00.001+08:00

I've been busy assembling my travel papers lately (and sucking up to all the red tape that went with it, yes). I'm almost done with it, though. I just need to pick up my visa from the Embassy, and then the rest is just pretty much luggage work -- for which I have sufficient time. And because Switzerland will not issue Schengen visas until November 1st, I'm going to apply for one from the French embassy soon. Trivia: the French/Swiss border is just a stone's throw away from the international orgs headquarters in Geneva.

As some of you know, I'm bound for Geneva in late July for an internship, although I haven't been talking much about it. Maybe later I will. In fact, I may even populate this blog with entries on that when I get there. But for now, let's just leave it at that.

Although lately, I've been having second thoughts about leaving.

Screwball, ano? After all the harrowing MRT rides, after completing all the papers, even after purchasing the tickets, nagdadalawang isip pa.

Really, I'm a fan

2008-05-20T09:07:00.000+08:00

NKOTB performing on the TODAY Show.

Convinced yet?! I can't get enough of them now ;-)

House arrest

2008-05-07T13:43:00.002+08:00

I've been under "house arrest" for being sick for almost a week now. Six days straight to be exact. I'm a walking and croaky talking viral infection. Name it: flu, colds, telenovela-ish coughs (my husband says my coughing sounds like that of a melodrama queen heard over AM radio during siesta)...and just as I'm over with my on-off fever, then comes sore eyes! Ano ba.

The red in my eyes is almost gone, though, but I still need to confine myself at home for one more day. My worry was my husband catching all these nasty contagion after me. And so he had to change his bed linens, camp on sleeping bag (wawa naman) and disinfect himself from everything I use (phone, TV remote, et al). All that did not seem to work. After we woke up this morning, he was coughing badly. We both went to see the doctor a few hours ago. We had separate prescriptions, but with one medication. He's now down in bed with fever while I'm here barking to blog.

It's my turn to be the doctor. I'm done being the patient.

Musing randomly

2008-04-29T14:10:00.000+08:00

On MRT: Why can't it be logistically efficient when this can be done with sound planning?

On boyfriend-girlfriend exchanging SIM cards: WHY??!!! What for?! I neither find it cute nor sweet. It's annoying.

On blue lady guards: Their incredible patience over impatient, non-abiding customers always amazes me. I wish I have the same.

On gadgets I know I will never own for practical, economic and sensible reasons: But then again, I get to hold them without really acquiring. Talk about perks of being a UP librarian surrounded with kids not knowing the full potential of their educational "toys". Hah!

On pretty girls: How come they still look pretty when they're all sweaty and dirty? It's unfair.

On honor students: Getting a medal for academic excellence doesn't mean one is brilliant. It doesn't always follow, I figured out lately.

Not so perfect timing

2008-04-29T14:07:00.000+08:00

I was busy vacuuming our really soiled floor Sunday last week, when Vincent drew my attention over to one short article in the morning newspaper. It says, Switzerland joins Schengen visa protocol.

Too eager to know the details, I snatched the paper from him -- while he just sat there grinning sheepishly, I wondered why so. But after reading the first line that goes: "Starting on November 1, 2008, Switzerland will apply Schengen rules in the issuance of visas...” my enthusiasm died away as quickly as it soared seconds before. Starting November 1 pa. Great. Just great.

For the longest time, Switzerland isolated itself from the rest of the EU member states (literally and principle-wise -- see map HERE), but has integrated some cooperative policies (primarily, trade) to maintain its ties with them. But with this new development in the Schengen agreement, Switzerland can now issue Schengen visa to enable one to move freely across borders into other Schengen-member countries. One doesn't need to secure two separate visas (Swiss and Schengen) anymore.

As if to add insult to injury (although of course I knew for a fact that it was not intended that way), the article stressed on: "But visas issued before November 1, 2008, will be valid only for entry into Switzerland.", in case a few concerned readers still didn't get the point. Fine! I get it alright.

I just wish they broadcasted this bitter-sweet news much later, say, in September, if only to cushion the blow a bit.

Lost for words

2008-04-29T14:04:00.000+08:00

I guess this will be my best friend from now on 'til before this year ends, unless I take French lessons this summer, which I am seriously considering. Or else, it's doomsday for me. I just wish UP's still open for the next quarter of French crash course.

On equal footing

2008-02-07T11:47:00.000+08:00

They say that no matter what your social status is, everyone smells equal in the toilet.

This thought was floating in my head last week while I was waiting in line at the NSO. Ingliserang sosyal ka man o pobreng matandang ale (whether you are an English-speaking lass or a poor old miss), it doesn't matter. It will never matter when you're at this government office's mercy. It felt like sweet revenge to the rich and self-important, as I watched a lady in oversized shades with hair highlights demand from the blue guard that she be served ahead of others because she's been there since morning, to which the guard nonchalantly replied, "Hintayin nyo na lang po na tawagin ang number nyo (just wait until your number is called)". This obviously pissed the porcelain skin off of her, but just like the rest of us, she had to sit down and wait. I can just imagine how much arrogance she had to swallow after making a scene in front of about a hundred of us patiently waiting for our turn.

At least for once I get to level off with everybody. Never mind the sweat and hassle.

2007 was something big; 2008 is bigger

2008-01-07T11:55:00.000+08:00

I haven't been posting anything up here since September last year. I didn't notice that until I checked up on this today. I never failed updating another blog actually, and that gave me the impression that I am updating this one at the same time all along.

Whoa! There's a lot of catching up to do! Honestly, all I can remember is that I've been very busy during the last quarter. Save for one homecoming I had with my Dad in Iloilo last November.

Cake looks fake but it sure is real!

Since I started blogging in 2005, I usually say something about what happened to me in a nutshell at the end of every year and what I look forward to in the New Year. It's the 7th day of the brand new year and usually by this time, as in the previous new years, I've already got loads of recapping stories to tell. Yet, of all the remarkable events, I can only think of my wedding day that happened later in the year. Yep, I'M MARRIED! I'm Mrs. Christine Manglal-lan Abrigo now. It keeps on replaying in my mind ;-) Gano'n pala 'yon (that's how it is). I've been keeping quiet about it for quite sometime. I'm not really a spotlight fan; I never wanted to be the center of attention. But whether I get the attention or not, I couldn't care less now. I'M SO HAPPY!

2007 was a challenging year yet again, a trying time for my family. I guess it was even tougher than 2006. And again, I am grateful to God that we were able to overcome as a family. Where there are challenges, there is also an overflow of blessings. I look at my nephew now and realized how much he's grown (he can chase me with his tubby feet!) last year, when in 2006, I was a struggling “Tita-Yaya”. It's so 2 years ago now...I looked at the stove this morning (and oh, how I panicked cooking eggs and hotdogs for breakfast, I used up two frying pans!), gave Vincent a guilty I-messed-up-this-early-Good Morning! smile, and realized that he's my husband now. Big challenges, big changes, all the more that I am grateful realizing how blessed I am with so much.

There is definitely a lot to look forward to this new year.

They are going to Amsterdam!

2007-09-15T10:00:00.000+08:00

I was surfing through Google videos when I discovered this new Harold and Kumar teaser. If you've seen and enjoyed Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle, you'll probably be equally excited as I am to see the next installment. First was the quest for hamburgers. This time around, they found themselves in deep trouble en route to Amsterdam.

I saw the first movie over cable TV two years ago. That one is a cracker! Vincent and I were laughing in tears! Hahaha. We bought a VCD copy (cheaper than the orig DVDs) when we happen to see one in a video store and made some of our friends watch it. These friends found it seemingly odd that I enjoyed this genre -- rated R: drugs and sex comedy -- not my kind of movie, they think. Of course there were some scenes and languages that were taken out when it was shown on cable. But putting these aside, it was to me, a nutter. Mababaw pero masaya!

For those of you who don't know Harold (John Cho) and Kumar (Kal Penn) yet, you can read about them HERE.

Losing my voice and my voice neglected

2007-08-22T14:37:00.000+08:00

Everyday on my way to work, an officemate or two would've been on an Ikot jeepney as usual, long before I hail whichever reaches my stop first. One morning late last week, I rode with two officemates and squeezed in right next to one of them. After silently beaming at them, I called out to the driver to hand over him my fare. The surprise jumped in when the words "Bayad po!" which I belted out in full hearing, came out not from me but originated from my officemate's vocal chords. Apparently, what materialized from my mouth was just a husky, dead air with no words. I totally forgot about my bad sore throat. Thanks to her, I didn't have to worry about calling out "Para po!" to the driver because she caught the words across for me.

With storms filing in like August is the only month there is that spells rain, classes were suspended thrice in a row last week. And because I belong to a working class which is just being "dutiful" sometimes, I still have to go to work. In truth, I don't really mind much about this. Not until yesterday came along.

My voice is still husky today. Although not as clear as would my normal tone and volume, it is audible now and I know I will soon have its normalcy back. The only important thing now is that I can be heard, understood and listened to. The thing that struck me yesterday however, was the dawning reality that no matter how far -- even booming -- your voice could go, if you are talking to the hand, you are talking to the hand. No matter how frustrated you are, or how passionate you are with whatever advocacy you support, the hand will not understand. If the owner of the hand refuses to listen, you are likely to face a battle half-lost. And if the owner of the hand pretends to listen and chooses not to understand, your war is over.

These are the very moments when, though they seldom come, I can really feel its thundering blow. Moments when small voices are neglected. These are the moments that make me think twice about my chosen career. These also compel me to evaluate how far my loyalty would go. I have always ingrained in me that I am not going to be a stunted professional. Librarians cry foul whenever they are only regarded as clerks -- "glorified", as I humbly quote my friend, Richard. The society is not to blame for this because this is what it sees. This perception will only change, slowly as it may be but still it will, if we will instill change. I know of some colleagues who have sailed into pursuing a bold cause if only to let the world see that Filipino librarians can actually think. I for one, though not a born writer, am honing my writing skills in order to stir my head to think and then put my thoughts down into words.

That's the good news: that we can always break away, make a difference, and be librarians all at the same time. What is sad and disappointing about this however, are the times when you are so fired up into making a significant contribution in the society and yet you are strapped down in a tight straitjacket that spells the lack of support from those you believe will be the first ones to pull you up and cheer you on. If the strapping will not be let go, there really is no difference between that and those horses in the streets of Manila drawing the calesa. Their only purpose is to run where their powerful kutseros whip them to go because they can't do anything else. They're tied to their calesas with blinders and head onto only one destination.

Sigh...Thank goodness for this blog. I can now start working again.

Carlos is learning to obey

2007-07-11T12:18:00.000+08:00

I got home one night and went straight on to dispense a glass of cold water from the fridge, when I saw a door knob hanger (except that it was not exactly a knob, but an ordinary door handle) dangling in my cousin's bedroom. The header says, "Obedience - doing what I am told to do". Further down it says, "Carlos is learning to obey."

Carlos is Kaloy, my nephew by a first cousin. I published an entry about him twice before; he's 6 years old now and have been a little bit exposed to the outside world. We seldom play cars now, as he has learned to cross over our fence of bushes and congregate with his playmates next door. He's learned how to bargain Playstation (oh yes, game consoles at 6! I know, what the...) times with his mother and father. And yes, he is having a hard time learning to obey now.

When I saw that door hanger, I must admit I too was convicted by the word Obedience. Patience, trust and obedience are three things I am not so good at. I don't personally believe that you cannot teach old dogs new -- sometimes even the old -- tricks, though. In my line of work for instance, I've witnessed how some traditional librarians I know of, technophobes they may be, have been continually struggling to learn new trends to be more professionally effective every single day.

What's my point then? If I want to be obedient, I have to learn and imbibe obedience. If I choose to be patient, I have to learn and imbibe the virtue of patience. If I need to be more trustworthy, I have to be trusting.

I have to learn everyday.

Nanny McME II

2007-07-06T15:34:00.000+08:00

I took up my new role as "Tita Yaya" a couple of months back, which indeed proved to be a doubly stressful time for me. My usual routines gone berserk, my luxury being a good night's sleep.

It has been 7 months since then. Although mother and son aren't staying with me anymore, yes, I am still a full-fledged Tita Yaya. I'm just so amazed at how we (my sister and I) were able to cope up with having a baby around. Things have pretty much gone back to normal, the only difference is that we have this adorable little cookie...

...who brightens up our everyday. It's just so awesome!

Big girls don't cry

2007-06-12T10:30:00.000+08:00

Apparently, becoming a big girl could be difficult in other matters in some other days.

Green candy

2007-05-18T08:17:00.000+08:00

No offense meant to some, but THIS I can never suck nor swallow. Amazingly, I heard from an officemate that it's colored green on the inside (hah!). That doesn't matter much to me, though I am really impressed at how far a person could go just to strike a chord. As if.

Power princesses!

2007-04-27T11:38:00.000+08:00

CREDITS: Shrek.com

Ooooh, you better watch out for these kicking ladies!

Going nuts

2007-04-12T09:34:00.000+08:00

A short trip out of the metropolis offered me a glimpse of the provincial life once more, which of course I always appreciate. The thing is there's always room to get to learn a thing or two about the simple ways of life -- the back-to-basics. To begin with, there were just the natural elements available all around for survival, long before push-buttoned and mobile technology ever invaded the urban homes. It's only sad that majority of today's "modern" people (including me) either at the very least lack the curiosity of things (how do they do it?) or are simply put: indifferent, as long as the microwave oven in the kitchen works.

This brings me to the main subject of this post (so much for that melodramatic intro). I didn't know how cashew nuts (kasuy) are cooked. Well, I do know that they're being cooked (winks) but I haven't seen how it's done and how a cashew tree looks like until last week. So when I finally got the chance to witness it, I didn't pass it up and documented everything (for the record).

Step 1: Roast cashew nuts on wood fire, atop a yero (galvanized iron sheet).

Step 2: Let it come to flames (oo, susunugin!). Careful not to go too near the fire as cashew oil squirts in all directions.

Step 3: Remove from fire and let the nuts (and the yero) stand to cool for a while.

Step 4: Time to begin the pukpukan session. Peel off the nuts’ burnt shells by lightly pounding it rock-on-rock. The idea is to shell them all off without cracking the bean shape apart.

I would complain at how much I find one pack of kasuy expensive. Supposing that one small pack went through the traditional process, such as the one above, there it leaves me with no more room for kiosk tantrums.

The invisible world made visible

2007-03-17T09:30:00.001+08:00

My current fascination nowadays is looking into Lennart Nilsson's works of microphotography. Well, he has always been around the field all this time. It's just that it was only last week when I got to discover him actually. And before his book, Life (c2006), journeys its way back to our book dealer's warehouse (we only get our hands on reference books for our department), I got to examine it page by page and was awestricken photo after photo.

The thing about his work is that he is able to make us see and understand the universe invisible to us: the anatomy of life. He even has one photo of a toothbrush scraping away at bacteria in the mouth (iiiiwww!!!). But most of his earlier masterpieces deal with the evolution of life in the womb, which are flat-out awesome! Like this one:

A successful sperm

Awesome.

Patayin sa sindak si Ligaya(katulong ang mga Spirit Warriors)

2007-02-22T11:47:00.000+08:00

I'm inventorying around 400+ (and 500 more to come, I was told! wah!) moldy but original video titles donated by a very benevolent faculty member. So far of this number, I've inspected just close to a hundred Tagalog titles and man, the titles were already driving me insane! I was chortling the whole time!

And then I found a way to amuse myself with what I'm doing (listing down 900+ titles could get you bored, until it grows on you). I figured, jeez, I can actually come up with my own version of teleserye just by combining and playing with these titles. This string I came up with a group of action film titles. Here's a sample (titles in boldface):

Ang sabi ni Warat, "Bibigay ka ba?"
Sagot naman ng Soltera, "Oops, teka lang…diskarte ko 'to!"
Nagalit ang Largado. Banta nya, "Ibabalik kita sa pinanggalingan mo!"
Pero ang akala ni Resbak, para sa kanya ang banta kaya ang kabig nya, "Babalikan kita!"
Pagtalikod nya, liningun nya pa si Resbak ng isang beses sabay sabing, "Uubusin ko ang bala sa katawan mo!"

Here are other titles that made me go tsk...tsk... (most is pito-pito, i.e., shot in less than a month, sometimes even in just one week!):

Babae sa bubungang lata (my comment: ano ba?!!!!)
Balahibong pusa
Gamugamong dagat
Gawin sa dilim
Hubad sa ilalim ng buwan
Malikot ang agos
Sa iyong haplos
Tuhog
Uhaw na hayop

Wah!

It's just relieving to know that Filipino film buffs have become intelligent moviegoers, most homegrown producers have begged off of cheap movie manufacture, and directors have likewise learned how to remaster their craft and tapped potential talents over time.

Just because

2007-02-14T12:29:00.000+08:00

"Scarcely had I passed them
when I found the one my heart loves.
I held him and would not let him go
till I had brought him to my mother's house."

~ Song of songs 3:4 (NIV)

E

2007-01-12T16:00:00.000+08:00

The gold-encrusted E is engraved majestically in my forehead; it sweeps me off of my feet as would a magic carpet.

All colors are E.

Nanny McME

2006-12-18T13:07:00.000+08:00

Lately, I spell luxury: S-L-E-E-P.

By-the-book nanny

I was "prematurely" introduced to full-swing nanny hood about two weeks ago, when my sister finally arrived home with her little bundle of joy (draining all her energies for 9 hours full of labor pains, ending with a slice in the belly, when all labor inducing drugs seemed to immune her). I couldn't exactly say I've prepared for his coming well enough, yet I did ready myself just the same. As they say, you'll never know how it is like until you get to spend your first day (or night) with the baby.

She being a first-time mother, my sister is grappling with parenthood big time. I being her big sister, had to most of the time pretend that I'm not even half as stressed as she is with baby-sitting; and avoid ending up baby-sitting both mother and son. I may deceivingly look like a mom with my cellulites screaming all over me (shamefully), but frankly, I am totally clueless with baby care. We needed truckloads of parenting inputs to grab.

We're quite fortunate to have relatives -- traditional and modern, to rescue two helpless fledglings. My cousins wasted no time at all in delivering their hand-me-downs to my sister. However, what I consider the best among these hand-me-downs is this hardbound handbook of pregnancy and baby care by Good Housekeeping (GH). One cousin lent it to my sister when she was still in her first trimester of pregnancy, and it has been really helpful ever since. We now turn to it as our baby bible. Although what we have is the first edition (I searched away Amazon.com and discovered that GH has come up with a paperback edition, which makes it literally handy), the principles of nurturing are of course, universal. I especially found the color photographs most practical. I'd secretly consult this book whenever my sister is occupied with other things (I had to pretend I'm no dummy, remember?).

"Tita-Yaya"

Half-way through my very disheartening (almost 3-foot high) laundry, I paused for a minute and yelled at my cousin (who was at the bathroom at that time), "Waaahh!!! This is not me!!! I want my old me baaaaack!!!"

These two weeks saw major, MAJOR changes in my routines. I've been reporting late for work for 7 days straight to date (late, to mean 20-30 minutes late). I spend four hours at most for laundry chores - which my sister usually does for the two of us every single week. I no longer check the Internet for cable programs to look forward to in the evenings. I haven't come home late from the mall like I used to (although this is not a regular habit) as of yet. My business nowadays is to catch up on sleep while I can, master the 101 techniques of diaper-changing, help out on pinning pediatrician and vaccine appointments, cheer on Sherwyn (our baby!) as he feeds on his mommy's milk.

Wait up. I am the aunt, not the mother. But look at me. I overreact way more than Sherwyn's mom. How much more if it were my own baby? Push me to the door now and shoo me off.

Don't get me wrong. This is all new to me, yes, yet I do welcome these changes embracingly. I perceive it as my pre-parenting dry run. I now enjoy cuddling a newborn, whereas before I was really, really scared of cuddling a fragile baby. I still panic whenever I change his diapers (he might pee again when I'm still not done changing him), but maybe in a few weeks' time I'll do just fine.

Having to take care of this bundle could be so, so exhausting. And yet when I'm in the brink of complaining, he would smile with his eyes shut close and the weariness just magically goes away.

Acknowledging

2006-12-09T12:29:00.000+08:00

One of the recurring characters in this blog has been my ordeal with graduate school. I promised myself lately that I won't keep my paper locked away too long in my procrastination chest anymore, as I did in the past. Well, roll the drums for me. After nearly 7 years, I now hold a Master of Library and Information Science degree. FINALLY!

I couldn't have done it all by myself, of course (sidebar: for my research, I developed a thesaurus on gender and sexual and reproductive health and rights for use of local NGO resource centers in Metro Manila). There were so many people to thank for and give credits to. This was my acknowledgment page (let me bore you for 3 minutes):

Being an esteemed member of the elite scatterbrained society, I consider this portion here the most challenging page I have ever written so far; even tougher than putting this thesaurus together and writing five chapters of this paper. This early, I am begging for pardon from those whose names could be unintentionally left out mentioning, but do not necessarily go unacknowledged. You know who you are and I am indebted to you all.

I thank my respondents for taking my research seriously and have made it all possible for me to get through graduate school: Dr. FLORENCE TADIAR and the STAFF of ISSA for this research opportunity; Ms. AIDA ARACAP of DOH Library; Mr. ROBERT ROMERO of NCRFW Resource Center; Mss. EMILYNE DE VERA and NOEMI BAYONETA-LEIS of HAIN Resource Center; Mss. GIGI FRANCISCO, SUSAN ALBAO, REMY GAMBOA and ANA DINGLASAN of WAGI; Ms. TEENA CAMPOS of WCC; Dr. CAROL SOBRITCHEA, Mss. DHANG SIOSON and ARDIS GONZALES of UPCWS; and Ms. LEONNIE DELA CRUZ of UPCSWCD Library. I also thank Ms. ROWENA O. ALVAREZ for sharing her expertise with me.

And to Binsent, for recommending these highly efficient people to me.

My sincerest appreciation goes out to my adviser, DEAN ROSALIE B. FADERON, for believing that I can write good stuff. I thank you for being my perpetual referee. I count myself blessed to have been mentored by you.

SIR ROD TARLIT, for putting invisible pressure on my shoulders. I thank you so much for that huge motivation for me to finish this paper.

And to Binsent, for the added push.

Mrs. AFRICA CASTILLO, for her hawk-like eyes. Thank you so much for reading my paper, never minding our geography. I am grateful for your time.

To the ILIS ADMIN STAFF, for not banging the phones and doors on me whenever I pay them "purposive" visits. Thank you so much.

Likewise, for Binsent's incredible, incredible patience.

The ILIS LIBRARY STAFF, for the extraordinary help for my extraordinary requests, maraming salamat po.

The late DEAN JOSEPHINE C. SISON, it was always refreshing to capture memories of your quips and smiles. Thank you for letting me experience all of those.

And to Binsent, for his occasional one-liners, sending me off to frantic laughter.

The VL.IR, for taking me to Europe and to my STIMULATE 4 professors and classmates, thank you. SAHDIA KHAN, the most patient program secretary there is, thank you for always keeping our lines burning.

PROF. ALAN HOPKINSON of Middlesex University (London), for his faith in the Filipino scholars.

Mrs. FLOR MALLARI, to me you are the perfect reference librarian. Your professionalism is worth emulating. I am humbled by your confidence in me. Thank you.

Mrs. SALVACION ARLANTE, you inspire me of your big dreams to revolutionize the field. Thank so much for allowing me to think out of the box.

I also thank Binsent for making sure that I not only excel in my career, but also in perfecting my sinigang na baboy.

Many thanks to the entire UPD MAINLIB PEOPLE: My fellow "athletes" at the stroke of 8 in the morning (hehehe); to my GENREF family, thank you so much. I have always been proud of our teamwork; to all my Ate at the ACQUISITIONS SECTION for keeping my stomach full; all my Kuya at the MEDIA SERVICES for keeping the Section up and running; the ladies of the L.O. -- ATE GILDA, ATE MYLENE, ATE VANGIE and ATE MARLENE, for the on-the-house peanut butter sandwiches; and ATE GAY, for her special treatment...Salamat sa inyong lahat.

To the "superninangs": DENISE, YANI, EMANG (gracias tia, for correcting my barok Spanish each time), ATE ELVIE, KLIT and GRACE T. Thanks to GENE and CHITO for accommodating the superninangs. I owe you people.

To ANDO, MARCKY, LEA, AL, and the rest of the PINOYS IN BELGIUM (PSB), thank you for the rice meals and the motherland feel. I also thank ALICIA and MARJ for our friendship made in Sunday flea markets.

Para mis dos mejores amigos del otro lado del mundo -- el Cubano ORLANDO y el Chileno MANUEL, mil gracias por haciendo mi vida en Europa una aventura cada dia. Si me iria por detras, lo hare todos otra vez con vosotros. Os echo de menos, ambos. I will see you two again.

And of course to Binsent, for putting up with all my ramblings. Thank you.

To RICHARD, for the friendship behind the CD collection.

To KRAM, for making me his Ate Christine.

The ABRIGO HOUSEHOLD, thank you for adopting me as one of your own. I thank your big brother Binsent for keeping the coffee jar packed to the brim for me.

My brothers and sisters at the METRO MANILA CHRISTIAN CHURCH (MMCC), for making me see and experience the love of God. You are all precious to me. My heart goes out to every single one of you.

LORNA, for her motherly instincts. You will always be engraved in my heart.

NIMFA and IRENE, we are now walking in the quarter life of our friendship. You are both amazing.

To my COUSINS and PAMANGKINS, I always look forward to our Sunday luncheons. You all make me smile.

To AUNT JAZ for being my surrogate mother.

PAPA, SHERYL and our little SHERWYN, you three inspire me to grow up everyday. I love you guys.

MAMA, I am invincible because of your still presence.

BINSENT. We repel yet we connect. You are so everywhere, everyday, every time. Thank you for being so everywhere, everyday, every time.

Above all, I am overflowing with gratefulness to my FATHER GOD in heaven. No amount of words can ever begin to describe Your perfection. You are awesome. I bring You back all the glory. I love you.

Moonlighting

2006-10-16T10:55:00.000+08:00

I imagine fewer sunny days, golden-yellow leaves a falling, perfect hot cups of coffee, and Paris glowing in the night.

My eyes, my thoughts, my heart, they penetrate through the dividing mirror. Catch your aroma, I could. I long to experience the warmth of your biting cold.

Let me, would you please.

Yet again.

Coming to grips

2006-09-26T16:29:00.000+08:00

Just when I thought that I was the only one gasping for air, along came friends who are just as desperate as I am to finish off graduate school. If only to claim relief in knowing that someone else is pressing in on the same boat, I'd be my own guest to suck it all up.

Well yes, I've been working on my paper for more than a year now. I've capitalized on procrastination far more than anything I have ever imagined myself am capable of being. Truth be told, I’m tired of just longing. I want to graduate and do something else, other than this. I even struck a bargain with my officemates (their next carbonara will be on me), again if only to stimulate my already growing low self-motivation.

I have other things in mind after graduate school. For one, my interest to pursue European languages has already caught up with my paper! I'm done with one quarter of mis clases Españolas, and so far, it has been good.

In the words of my thesis adviser, "...okay, but don't let it stay with you too long."

Believe me this time, I won't keep it stale.

Counting screws

2006-09-21T18:03:00.000+08:00

"Isa lang ang hiniling 'ko sa kanila: ang karapatan 'kong madapa at bumangon sa buhay nang walang tatawa, magagalit, magtatanong o magbibilang kung ilang beses na akong nagkamali at ilang ulit ako dapat bumawi."

-- A B N K K B S N P L Ko?!
Mga Kwentong Chalk ni Bob Ong. ©2001.

bonito!

2006-08-17T18:37:00.000+08:00

ANG GALING!!! Sony Ericsson + Cybershot in 1! Awesome.

Nostalgic

2006-08-14T23:54:00.000+08:00

The gentle air of rain
reminiscent tunes refraining not;
tending intangible keepsakes

and then...

Goodbyes.

That I missed

2006-08-04T10:39:00.000+08:00

I have no idea how the grapevine twined here at work yesterday, because since I came in to my "bat cave" this morning, I've been picking up somewhat exaggerated, way out of proportional responses from people around me.

"How's your back? Does it still hurt?"

"Hey, are you any better?"

"I suggest you go and have your spine checked."

"How are you?" (with matching soft pat on the shoulder)

Don't get me wrong, I really do appreciate their concern. It's just that I find it a bit odd, as I don't usually get such remarks from people I don't relate to personally. They sounded like I was near-death yesterday.

Unbeknownst to them, it's the chicken sisig delivered for lunch yesterday that is still making me go tsk tsk today. Argh! I missed that. That, and the two cups of rice that goes perfectly well along with it. Yesterday's lunch will never be the same as today's. Hehehe.

Siempre = Always

2006-07-26T08:56:00.000+08:00

SIEMPRE
de Pablo Neruda

Antes de mi
no tengo celos.

Ven con un hombre
a la espalda,
ven con cien hombres en tu cabellera,
ven con mil hombres entre tu pecho y tus pies,
ven como un rio

lleno de ahogados
que encuentra el mar furioso,
la espuma eterna, el tiempo!

Traelos todos
adonde yo te espero:
siempre estaremos solos,
siempre estaremos tu y yo
solos sobre la tierra
para comenzar la vida!

ALWAYS

I am not jealous
of what came before me.

Come with a man
on your shoulders,
come with a hundred men in your hair,
come with a thousand men between your breasts and your feet,
come like a river
full of drowned men
which flows down to the wild sea,
to the eternal surf, to Time!

Bring them all
to where I am waiting for you;
we shall always be alone,
we shall always be you and I
alone on earth
to start our life!

Looking forward to a groovy weekend!

2006-07-14T10:52:00.000+08:00

They're from the Kuzco Academy

While we're on the subject of Disney channel movies...

Finally, after six long years since Kuzco rocked my animated world, Disney Channel Asia is premiering tomorrow night a new cartoon series called The Emperor's New School. That will be more of Kuzcotopia and Yzmania for me. Yey! :-p

The Channel's marking the event with a Kuzco marathon (Emperor's New Groove, Emperor's New School, Kronk's New Groove). Therefore my friends, my weekend is solved. Oh, yeah. So solved. Hehehe ;-p

[I'm a certified Disney addict, in case you STILL didn't get the picture]

Like a doormat for diversions

2006-07-04T11:58:00.000+08:00

Remarkably, my diversions to alleviate stress turned out to be a combination of an overdose of Disney channel movies, and a quarter-pack of Spanish lessons.

Yes it's trivial. But I must say that these have afforded me instantaneous cure. I would liken the sensation to platelets rushing steadily to rehabilitate a laceration ripping out in progress. For a temporary antidote, these diversions happened right on time, just as the doormat was about to be delivered to the sickbay.

Diversions -- or simply put, distractions -- offered me temporary relief. Memorizing lines from Disney movies by heart while looking forward to speaking conversational Spanish in three months' time have become my culture for the past couple of weeks. In a way, it's therapeutic. Really.

Am I making sense here?! Creo que si..

Raising adults

2006-06-16T09:35:00.000+08:00

The past week was a long one for me -- literally and figuratively. Up to now, I'm still undergoing physical and emotional self-medication.

I had to grow up five hundred times faster than normal pace in order to raise adults in five days. I needed to be a parent, a sister, a friend, a counselor, a therapist, a damage controller, a spongebob, the bearer of disturbing news...and then be myself again whenever I go to bed every night ever since. Heaven knows just how much I would long for each day to end and couldn't wait to reward myself with restful sleep. Superheroship is one exhausting business indeed, but my hands are tied. I still have to wake up every morning and rise up to all the occasions confronting me.

And for the nth time, I have to force myself to mature.

Cruel irony

2006-06-08T11:41:00.000+08:00

After seven years of being greeted by hefty shelves of books here in the library, I would at times find it inevitable to fall back on these resources for self-help. As if, all of life's answers to man's problems are confined in this four-cornered hall. I need not go far off. It's all in here, right where I get paid every week. Although I know it's absurd to ever think that books (collectively speaking) will solve my psychotic tendencies, I continue to suck up to this self-deception nevertheless.

There are moments when I just find myself unconsciously looking up at the dictionary to translate my sentiments (argh! and I won't stop until I find the right word for it). Or search away in the catalog database the handbook that would give me the appropriate remedy to my forebodings.

Like, now.

What is "disappointed" in Tagalog?

What is more intense than the word "pain"? (There's got to be. There has to be!)

Is there a complete idiot's guide to numbed out idiots?

Input search expression: materials on "how to summon split personalities and be at best in all or both" = 0 entries...why zero?!?!

I'm desperate for answers, but books don't have them. This is what makes it totally inanimate.

Welcoming the rain

2006-05-18T09:30:00.000+08:00

Summer has come and gone by so swiftly, it left me with so little time to spill over my whereabouts during the season. It would've been really easy to put the blame on the discomforts brought about by the sweltering heat (try 37 degrees Celsius), but truth be told, I just didn't feel the kick to write down something. Not that I felt obligated to say anything (if only for the sake of adding in another post up here). I knew I had a lot to let out, yet still gave in to lethargy.

It's been raining since last week, but it was not until two nights ago when my restlessness for howling stormy winds and heavy rains resurrected within my system. My anxiety over typhoons more often graduates into an unreasonable overreaction -- I'd stay wide awake whenever there's a downpour at night and walk around inspecting practically everything in the house. Somehow, I have this stubborn involuntary muscle that twitches automatically at the onset of rain. Silly, huh?

Along with the coming of the rain are the people populating the bookstores hoarding off school supplies for their ward. Schools are to open their gates three (others, four) weeks from now, so until then, unless you are in dire need of pen refills, better stay out of the book/school supplies' shops. I waited in line for almost 20 minutes just to have my pen refill billed. It would've been too easy for me to pocket in my "purchase", get out of the line and no one (even the person next to me) would ever notice my evil deed. Of course I wasn't even half-crazy to give into it, but I admit the thought kept me up amused for a while ;-)

Despite these, I still welcome the rain. And just like in previous years, I know I can live with my anxieties. I've earned enough coping mechanisms to last me a lifetime of typhoons.

A heap of burning coals

2006-04-11T09:42:00.000+08:00

I feel awfully sad for some people who think that key job positions entitle them to instant lordship and pharaoh pedestals. I spill pity over the same people who are just as deceived into thinking that just because they're given crowns of glory, they MUST (emphasis on that) be favored with immune royalty.

Thankfully, I never saw nor treated headship that way. I pay the highest esteem for individuals who have made it to the top, but with the praises never bloating up their heads. My deepest respects are for the handful pick of supervisors who do not cling arrogantly onto their titles but instead, continues to busy themselves up into becoming a team player.

The pride of being able to brag and exercise the power of control over your subordinates is of course, tempting. The thing is, if you're not careful enough and fall for this, you will end up having enemies and really mean detractors. Or worse, that very title that you so treasure greedily could be taken away from you. That's not a pretty mirror to face when that happens.

And if that happens (because it happens all the time), what would that experience make of you? Would you just sulk and wallow? Would you take it bitterly and stop there? Would you loathe and get back hard on your minions?

OR...

Would you treat that "unpleasant experience" as a heap of burning coals on your head? Would you instead focus on working hard on your people skills and start all over again to earn your co-workers' respect once more?

It's your card, Miss.

Over a month ago, I was given a huge responsibility at work. Our head librarian probably thought that I'm a big girl now and clever enough to handle a department of my own. I'd be a liar if I say I never wanted the post (AV librarian), but to be honest, handling a department in the university library of the University of the Philippines magnets a lot of pressure to a greenhorn supervisor. Nevertheless, I humbly took the job (as if I had a choice) and decided to work harmoniously with my team (that was my choice). No, I will never be an egotistical, bigheaded, demeaning boss. I will work real hard to earn my staff's respect.

Rehydrated

2006-03-29T15:20:00.000+08:00

The first sign of summer in the Philippines: rain. You'll know that summer is here when the rain showers over your head when you least expect it. Or better yet, when you most need it. It ceases when you've had enough water for tilling the soil.

I'm fine now. Just a little haggard from lack of sleep, but a lot better.

To you, who always listens and pushes the quiet button to inject sense:

THANKS. YOU ARE MY GEM.

To you, who offered to punch her/him -- except that her, happens to be me:

MIL GRACIAS.

To you, who said I should wear a bikini for summer and thinks I'm sexy (iiiwww!) with it on:
MIL GRACIAS.

To you, who encouraged me to get back to my joy:

THANKS. I FELT YOUR HUGS FROM AFAR.

To You, who brings down the rain at the right time, always:
SALAMAT PO.

I am mine.

2006-03-24T11:36:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I think I don't know myself anymore. Lately, I've been having stressful times at making decisions among things that in my heart I want to do versus the conventions put forth by circumstances. I knew I'm done and over with fickle-mindedness, but how come I feel half-convinced, half-regretful after putting my foot down every time? Somehow, there's this bitter aftertaste and I couldn't get over with it. It bites and I know that if don't take action, it will devour my entire being down to my last toenail.

Maybe what's killing me more is that judgmental look piercing through me whenever I say "No." and everyone else says "Yes." It would backfire to me, just as casual as one would normally walk in the room by the main door. It gives me the impression that I'm missing out on a lot, when in truth, it's not really a matter of life and death. It sears too much, it jerks me off into compromising. It just sucks.

I'm seeing the consequences of my uncertainties. I've become more and more insecure and it's robbing me of my joy.

I need to get my joy back. It's mine to share.

Throw off the throttles

2006-03-08T14:44:00.000+08:00

A classic piece of advice such as the "letting (it) go theory" was once again reincarnated to me by last night's episode of Aircrash Investigation (a National Geographic special). It was about an elite Russian pilot who treats his 15 year old son to a surprise cockpit trip that eventually throttled into the airline's doom (read an account of the events here). The investigation revealed that aircraft error was not the principal cause of the crash (thus, saving Airbus' fate). It merely posed as an effect of the pilots' scarce proficiency of the A310. The immediate reflex was to take control of the plane and save all 75 lives from this fatal demise. However, that bold intention was not able to fulfill its noble purpose.

The solution was very simple. The pilots just have to let go of the maneuver and let the autopilot do the noble purpose for which it was built for.

Now that has a very huge point. How difficult could an easy gesture really be?

Indeed, it is our basic instinct to take on our best controls in order to save ourselves from life's catastrophes. And then just when everything has taken its toll, we wouldn't let go; for fear that if we do, that would be the end of it all.

Letting go is not equal to defeat. Letting go is holding on to what is divine. Letting go is a leap of faith.

That grand design called serendipity

2006-03-07T11:29:00.000+08:00

What happens when the south pole cross paths with the north? Will they ever?
Who whispered proximity to time?
How come five years seem equal to zero?

We sometimes miss it even when it hits us between the eyes. Why?

Things fall into place like ice cream scoops is to sugar cones. One is called from the other end of the galaxy in order to traverse an orbit parallel to the other. It's a riddle sometimes difficult to entangle, but in the end, still you can.

Why?

It just happens. Come away and let us navigate together.

Mistaken identity

2006-02-24T14:35:00.000+08:00

I remember while on summer camp a few years back, I walked into some friends flocked together playing Boggle and then when I tried butting in if I can join them, one of them said, "Naku, talo na agad tayo nyan. E librarian 'yan, laging kasama mga libro. Malawak ang bokabularyo nyan!" [We’re instant losers. she's a librarian, always surrounded with books. just imagine her vocabulary] I chuckled in shock at this reaction and said, "Do I really make that 'walking encyclopedia' impression?!"

Truth be told, I'd rather rub crayons onto coloring books than read my prep texts when I was a kid. I'd fancy colorful stuffs (picture books, fun comics, etc.) than read perfectly-printed monographs during my teens. I think the closest thing I read next to thick paperbacks was Sweet Valley Twins. My parents practically left me to do what I want to do (so long as they don't see failing marks to my name) and nibbling books was never in my list. Now this has become one of my biggest regrets (besides wearing ripped jeans). It was only in college when I started leafing through "real books" and even now that I'm a librarian, I'm just beginning to curb a career of becoming a voracious reader.

There. I'm no competition to word game addicts. But I know I can still fool people into thinking that I am, so for them, I think am going to live with that impression for a while.

All grown up

2006-02-20T23:48:00.000+08:00

Once upon a time, we were just college classmates each taking part in a phone brigade -- happening during the wee hours of the morning -- consulting each other whether or not we got our 3"x5" card margins right for our cataloging class.

This morning, I sat with one of them who were once part of that disturbing phone brigade. This time around, we were classmates no more but two colleagues discussing about a major digitization project for the library where we both serve.

-o0o-

I never failed catching up on her daily dose of kilig moments about her object/s of affection (a.k.a. crush/es) whenever we ran into each other every single school day.

A couple of months back, I sent her an e-mail inquiring if her network could possibly donate media materials for my library. She said I needed to write to her superiors and promised to back me up if and when I needed one.

-o0o-

They used to spoil my lazy Sunday afternoons by playing arbiter to their cat quarrels (I repeatedly thought that the two of them were miserable disasters put together).

I am now the godmother of their first-born and she's about to deliver their second. Yes, these two "disasters" ended up together.

-o0o-

I sent her to school and I've lost count as to how many times I nagged her into cutting off from too much partying. I was her version of Cruella de Vil.

She treated me out to fine-dining this noon. And that was not the first time.

We've all grown up, see.

A spoiler excused

2006-02-15T14:00:00.000+08:00

The San Miguel Philharmonic Orchestra and
The San Miguel Master Chorale at the Shang.

I received an email alert from one of my e-group thread early Saturday morning about SMPO and SMMC's free concert at the Shangri-La mall slated for that evening, and out of mad excitement (live orchestral music for FREE!!!), I wasted no time in tagging Vincent along with me into scurrying up there after work (am on Saturday duty since dinosaurs first roamed the earth, yes). I had no idea that that was exactly what he had in mind for days. I didn't mean to spoil his surprise and consequently, beating him to it :-)

The concert was FANTASTIC! I usually complain about -- next to involuntary starvation -- having to be up on my heels for just a little over 30 minutes, but that night, I never once grumbled during the show. I haven't even noticed time passing, enduring two full hours of being stationary and almost motionless. Before the first score was flailed, my "hyperactivity" started kicking in as I just couldn't help being so, so thrilled (my companion had to actually force me to stay put and shushed me several times that night)...I was back to my normal self immediately after the show. No, I'm not exaggerating.

The music was soothing, tuning into it was like falling into a trance. It's all worth the numbed out legs... And his patience, too. *wink* Thank you, dearest.

Clueless

2006-02-10T12:12:00.000+08:00

My proclamation is that I am not at the least bit interested. And yet much of what's behind that edict would reveal another side that presents another universe of interest.

Unknown to him, my baffled heart leaps a million miles.

Antonio's spell

2006-02-06T23:41:00.000+08:00

Been enchanted by Vivaldi since mid-last week and loving it ever since. It's been a long time since I last plugged into classical music, and I figured Vivaldi's was exactly the calming therapy that I needed for the remainder of my semester.

I was just too excited to lay back and read my unfinished leisure book whilst into Vivaldi; but I ended up slamming the book down, closing my eyes and then permitted myself to drown into his beautiful scores. Thanks to him still planted in my ears, I was able to clean up for the next two days what used to be my office desk of four years (and will raid another officemate's desk for that matter) in a jiffy. Jeez, was I too captivated or what?

I think I've grown addicted to him now. I couldn't concentrate writing (my thesis) and couldn't turn him off just the same. Antonio's spell's getting into me again...close your eyes...put your notes down...

Los echo de menos...tanto

2006-01-30T04:15:00.000+08:00

I know I suck at Spanish, but I care not. I miss them.

Image hosted by Microsoft Encarta

Her tranquil spirit

2006-01-28T13:43:00.000+08:00

I seem to have let slip days such as this just like your regular January Saturdays. Regretfully, for many years now, it has just become a mental note and nothing more. How can I be so ephemeral about something that's so perpetual?

She's invincible as if she can take on the whole world whenever I am around her. She can blend her authoritativeness with a stroke of gentleness that is so distinctly hers. She laughs like Jurassic Park was the funniest movie she's ever caught on T.V.

I am the product of her devotion. I take after her resilience. I am invincible because of her still presence.

If the shoe fits, then wear it

2006-01-27T01:45:00.000+08:00

It is not like my fate has been sealed in its entirety. I just happen to reach another fork in my road.

Sure, Charles Darwin was right about the evolution; that those who are the most responsive to change are the ones that survive, and not the strongest nor the most intelligent of the species. I still hold on to this fact (yes, it is factual to me), though...and there goes my fork lying ahead of me.

Sure, I will adapt. But I would most definitely want to shun the clinging arrogance. Come on, girl. Let go of that shoe. Shake it off and let it retire. You have got a bigger shoe waiting to fill in.

It used to be simple

2006-01-21T13:26:00.000+08:00

As told by a 10-year-old lad in love:

"Love is not just about saying words..."
"Love is making that grand leap..."
"Love is going an extra mile, even when it hurts..."

In truth, I was never a fan of romantic tales (some close friends even think I lack love potion in my veins). I would cringe and squirm at its mushy sensation/effect on me. But when kids talk of "making that grand leap" in love, that is when romance woos my heart. If and only if for this reason alone, I can afford to be mushy.

I guess the subject on love evolves as one grows old and gains full access to its sweetness and bitterness over time. Once upon a time, it used to be so simple. For kids, there are no buts. Everything is absolute (absolutely yes or no). No reservations, whatsoever. On the other hand, for adults, love begins to come in degree/s. What was once deemed uncomplicated somehow cultivated complexities along the way. Consequently, loving has become conditional. And unconditional love does not come easy nowadays.

Luckily, it is never too late to have a child-like heart in love. You can always make that rebound and be a child again.

Wow. That was me talking.

Fleeting by...

2006-01-17T10:35:00.000+08:00

While I was typing my work away, a wistful thought caught five seconds of my monotony as it cruises along swiftly by. For the first time, I consented the thought and finally, broke into an approving smile.

Minutes have passed and yet the persistent smile on my face refuses to go away still.

I am on cloud 9.

TagLish: some lessons learned

2006-01-16T23:22:00.000+08:00

We Filipinos are so used to speaking "hybrid" Tagalog almost everyday of our lives that we unconsciously let pass grammatical rules. I mean, it is bound to be grammar insensitive (sinasabotahe na nga natin ang dalawang wika e), but lately, I have become mindful about this; at least at my own perusal. Been guilty of murdering two languages simultaneously. I figured that maybe, I can correct word agreement/s in TagLish.

[DISCLAIMER: I am not being prescriptive here. I maybe wrong somewhere but as far as I am concerned, these observations have earned me positive effects. Mine are just suggestions.]

Talking from experience (of a convicted murderer of Tagalog and English), I learned that should you combine a Tagalog superlative with an English noun/verb/adjective, you should want to retain the base form (i.e., root word) of the English word. For instance, instead of saying "pinaka-latest" (i.e., latest), you might want to use "pinaka-late". Or when using Tagalog in comparative form, retaining the English root word wouldn't be ear-grating. For example, "mas clear" (i.e., more clear) instead of "mas clearer".

Another thing is using Tagalog prefixes along with English verb tense/s (past, present, future). I suppose retaining the present tense of the English verb would be the best option when combined with a Tagalog prefix. Such as "na-overhear" (i.e., overheard) in place of "na-overheard". The former sounds better that way. The same rule applies to suffixes. We are more comfortable with "attend-an" (i.e., had attended) and we do not use "attended-an" for that matter.

Bottom line is: whatever Tagalog prefix/suffix you append, the base form of the English word stays as it is.

So much for grammar talk.

I count my blessings

2006-01-10T18:19:00.000+08:00

Growing up wouldn't be a million times as much fun without these important ladies in my life. To them I would credit a huge chunk of which I was and what I have become today. If it weren't for these gals, I wouldn't have any reason at all to put a big smile on my face whenever I look back at my childhood and puberty years. My life would never be the same!

I've been meaning to write about my personal who's who but haven't had the chance to do so, until now. And since it's the start of a brand new year (and at New Year, the timing revolves around the themes of new beginnings, gratefulness, etc.), I figured that now is the best time to write about them.

The three of us share a colorful childhood together in UP. I first met Nimfa one nap-time afternoon (Like most average kids with parents scolding their children to siesta after lunch, yes, I too would sneak out of my hawk-eyed mom just when I'm really sure she's dropped into her peaceful afternoon slumber. He-he-he) and played lutu-lutuan (Pretend-play cooking. I still do that in a real kitchen by the way) for the first time. We've become enduring best friends ever since. We've been through crests and troughs together. Even though we don't see each other now quite as often as before, we're both secure about our friendship. Whenever we see/speak to each other, however seldom it may be, we still connect! We still finish each other's sentences. And hey, we've been friends for almost 25 years now (There, there. Now you can guess how young I am *wink wink*)!

We (Nimfa and I) met Irene I think about a year later. I'm not quite sure how I met her (Irene, sweetie, if ever you see this post, please help refresh my memory), but the only recollection I ever have of meeting her for the first time was that she and Nimfa were classmates in school. And oh yes, she was definitely a part of the siesta sneak-outs. That would make the three of us at that time (smiles). We'd laze around a monkey bar (we called it the 'gymnastics') not too far from our homes, revealed each other's secrets there and dreamt together. We've harbored our friendship roots way too deep. This girl’s a one tough cookie. I personally think that of us three, she was the one who really went through with a lot...and survived. With that, I admire her for her determination.

We may be living our own separate lives now (Nimfa is happily married and a fulfilled mother to a 5-year old smart boy, while Irene is based in Manhattan, NY finishing her studies), but we sure agree on one thing: that no matter where we are and where life would take us, we'll be the best of friends.

Love you, guys.

Getting cold feet

2006-01-08T23:48:00.000+08:00

Literally.

Temperature out here has gone down remarkably over the past couple of days. Considered cold for a tropic bred. Been wearing my toe socks (Manuel calls them the funny socks, but Vincent thinks they're scary, especially when I wiggle my toes! Ha-ha-ha!!!) to sleep lately. I own three pairs but among those, this is the pair that I seldom put on. Unlike the other two, this one's lengthier (way up knee-high) and warmer. Built for winter (I used to wear this stuff back in Belgium). Guess these socks will be at work until the next month or so.

Looking at a brand new haircut

2006-01-08T02:44:00.000+08:00

I believe by this time, most adults "in touch with their inner souls" may have already done some reflecting about their own version of life in 2005, eventually arriving at a handful take of resolutions to their name. Vows that are either noted down mentally and then sincerely tacked on the corkboard; or scribbled in water. 8 days into 2006 and I'm just starting to look back.

[Sidebar: I'm not aspiring to become a drama queen here, but the succeeding sections of this post may sound melodramatic as I go. No big deal. Just a fair warning.]

2005 had been a very challenging year for me. A tough one at that, really. I was confronted with a battery of struggles that not just once put my convictions to the test. Many times I tried hard to beg off wrestling, but then again in the end, I had no other choice but to face the music that these challenges play. It's not easy to play along, especially when the rules get thorny. Fortunately, I somehow managed to get by and well, here I am. Still alive and blogging :)

Although I've had my share of regrets, looking back now I realized that there will always be one or two scraps left that are worth the taking. If there were only three things I'd value about last year, that would probably be one of them. Possessing such misgivings inspired me to reinstate within me the importance of forgiving oneself (which is by far, one of the hardest things for me to do), and then when equipped with penitence, change for the better...Easier said than done, huh? But like what I've said, it's worth my two cents.

Above all, I am grateful for EVERYTHING -- every single thing that has come about in my life last year. Despite my shortcomings, God has blessed me just the same. Incredible relationships tied, witnessing my loved ones' dreams materializing, my academic drive (go graduate school!), my bedroom renovated (about time!), learning how to cook leche flan...I can go on and on. Basta. I am just thankful for all of these.

I don't know what's in store for me this year. I've got my partial list of personal goals but am not posting it here (hehehe). For the meantime, I'm sporting a new haircut. That's a good "head" start.

Yearend Blues

2005-12-31T02:33:00.000+08:00

All along I thought I've already gotten over this end-of-the-year sentiment -- that tiny pinch of nostalgia happening seconds as December 31st slips gradually into January 1st. I almost got for myself that congratulatory shoulder pat, next to the customary "Yes, you made it. No emo-emo this year." accolade. But oh, when I woke up yesterday morning, the picture of the old hermit wearing the 2005 sash surrendering the scepter over to the cherub on a 2006 sash (the thing you see in old Pilipino comics) painted vividly in my face.

And then I felt the pinch once again.

Recapping Yuletide 2005

2005-12-30T23:49:00.000+08:00

Time passes swiftly by and it astounds me. As I've mentioned in my first Christmas post some months back, it's the wait for Christmas that keeps me high.

[Sidebar: The holiday stir is still very much felt, though. This afternoon, I paid a quick stop over at a nearby supermarket to get grocery stuffs and to my horror; there were no grocery baskets and carts! Long lines everywhere doesn't surprise any one average Filipino urban dweller these days, but queuing up for a grocery basket? That was something I have never experienced before. And I must admit, that was a good one (wink).]

Yearnings

I remember praying everyday for December 16th to come since the twelfth month began. By that day then, our office Christmas party's been dealt with and my job as program committee head (Which by the way was never my specialty. I just happen to be fortunate to have creative back up) would be concluded. Well, that day has come and gone by so quickly, it's as if I never prayed for it to pull in and then finish off.

Next to my "longings list" was that sought-after country style holiday I've been looking forward to for months. For five days, I was forcefully abstained from my impatient and quarrelsome nature (praise God!) and drowned into the eat-and-sleep marathons. Pumping water from the well (i.e., poso) to fill up 3 pails for my daily bath was one provincial sampling I took pleasure in. Not to mention charcoal-cooked dishes! This yearning too came true.

Bonuses

During the traditional Christmas Lantern Parade of our university, I got together with former Brussels Pinoy alumni who are now based here at home. It turned out to be a mini-reunion as we all recounted our European adventures amid the 15-minute or so fireworks display hovering above us. That was some bonus.

But the best Christmas bonus I got this year was courtesy of Vincent...Ta-dah! This Disney Princess song collection CD!!! Hehehe.

I just love Christmas!!!

Dilemma

2005-12-19T13:43:00.000+08:00

I had yet another close encounter with one that's not at all too easy to deal with. My heart.

The dilemma knocked first when I had to accomplish one responsibility that I have neglected for almost a year now (which is not pretty); unintentionally at first, then deliberately of late. Next time it did was just a couple of minutes ago, when I had to finally decide to reply to my father's messages.

I really wanted to write about my angst and annoyance over things rebelling in my heart, but now that my head is in its place, that original plan has changed.

It's true though. The heart can be deceiving. After mulling over what has just transpired within me, I came face to face with the convictions (whatever scraps that's left) of my heart. Follow your heart is the popular proverb, but I say follow your heart and then put some brain into it.

As for my first tight rope, I had to face the consequences of my negligence. Never mind if people surrounding it would abuse the fruit that's not rightfully theirs. What matters most is that I didn't have to perjure myself and teach others to be likewise untruthful. I played it clean and it felt awesome.

For the next leg of the rope, I had to twist my arm and wrestle more to be meek. It wasn't a candy-flavored pill to swallow, but God rallied me round to win this battle over. That communication breakthrough was indeed, my next big leap.

Bicol express (local dish) never tasted that perfect for quite a while. The overwhelming Christmas buffets I've devoured these past days were in no match to my humble lunch today. I savored my hearty lunch guiltlessly, and it was blissful.

Ming Tsai vs. Bobby Flay

2005-12-10T01:05:00.000+08:00

Okay, I was at it again.

Finding the inducement to reward myself for cramming from the night before (class homework of 4 weeks-worth which I managed to write in 6 hours!); I sought solace from push-buttoned technology. And as often as it has been in the past, whenever I'm in the mood for some couch-potatoing, the TV won't combine forces with me! Argh! Why does it always have to be that way? Re-run films, slap-stick shows, Pinoy Big Brother (Vincent even sent me with this text message: 'just type BB NENE and send to 2331'...ano ba?!!! Probably he too, was bored)! Oh come on, por favor, not tonight.

Thank heavens for Food Network, one hour of my TV pleading was bailed out. Iron Chef America was on, only to tear my loyalty apart between Ming Tsai (East Meets West) and Bobby Flay (Hot Off the Grill) - 2 of the chefs I adore, fencing ladles in the kitchen stadium. Flay was the iron chef, while Tsai was the challenger. Huuufff! I had to decide who to take sides with. Not that I had to, but I knew I just have to. I chose Tsai! But just for tonight, Bobby (winks). Ted Allen (Queer Eye) was one of the judges, by the way.

Duck was the secret ingredient in last night’s episode. In an hour's time, the guys managed to whip up their "whatever" dishes. I had my computer propped up on my lap just in time for the judging, so I was able to jot down their duck delights.

Tsai's concoctions:

1. Foi gras shumai (imagine duck chunks wrapped into a siomai and then steamed)
2. Wrapped duck breast and shrimp mousse
3. Braised duck legs with sweet potatoes
4. Roasted pekin duck with duck leg crepe (duck in crepes! I wonder how it tastes like)
5. Froi gras creme brulee (it's creme brulee with duck!)

Bobby's handiwork:

1. Duck breast skewers (grilled duck and then stuffed in tortilla)
2. Duck and sweet potato hash with poached duck egg (he said it's got a Caribbean touch)
3. Duck confit in a corn crepe (blue corn crepes, Bobby's trademark)
4. Jerk marinated duck breast (I don't know where the 'jerk' thing came from, but the duck was smothered with mango sauce)
5. Deep fried duck with 10-ingredient grits

When the announcement for the winner was about to happen, I looked silly on my seat, praying for Tsai to win (while my sister gave me the look). Come on! Beat the iron chef! Well, he did win. He got high marks for the taste (the duck creme brulee must've done the trick superbly!). Don't worry Bobby, I still love you.

Couch potato mission: accomplished.

Memory lapse

2005-11-23T23:57:00.000+08:00

For the record, I have to blog this one right in; else it'll slip off my head again.

I couldn't put the blame on my mefenamic acid intake, but since the week began, I've been running around headless. Well, I sure have a colorful history of forgetfulness to boot, but this week was proving itself to be quite a cut above the rest. And to be frank, I'm alarmed!

Monday:

I forgot the keys to my room. My cousin asked me to buy CFL lamps and a socket for the kitchen...I arrived home from school all alone. Where have all the lamps gone? They're still at the store.

Tuesday:

After waking up, I placed my cell phone at a strategic corner of our bedroom to keep it visible for me to snatch it up just before setting off for work. Aware of that daunting habit of absentmindedness, I begged my cousin to remind me of my CFL errand. As I checked on my bag for my phone an hour later, ta-dah! No phone. Still stuck on that strategic corner, I presumed. The whole day, I had to stubbornly hark back where I placed my pen, what I had to get from my office desk, etc. At times, I would forget who I was supposed to call up the moment I reached for the phone's receiver. Somehow, minute information chips off my head along the way at a 10-second step interval between our communal PCs to the phones...Oh, and yes, no CFLs yet again.

Wednesday:

Though still high from my pain killer intake (for throat infection I suffered from the night before; Self-medication. Please don't try that at home), I still had it in my head that I had two appointments to attend to in the morning. This time around, my cell phone’s tucked in my bag, but for goodness sake, I forgot my room keys again! I went to listen to a friend's lecture/presentation at my college. I knew I was running late for one committee meeting, so I scrambled out of the lecture room a while later. As I pulled up the glass doors and announced my presence at the meeting place, it was only then that I realized that I was one day early from that appointment. There, there, today's Wednesday not Thursday...And the CFLs? I dated all my correspondences one day late and apparitioned to a meeting a day early, and you ask me about the CFLs?! Why am I not surprised?

I hope I'm not getting any worse all throughout the remainder of the week.

Serenading the Rivers

2005-11-21T00:42:00.000+08:00

I've been talking quite a lot about motherhood in my last two posts. And so while we're on the subject of parenting, I might as well delve into fatherhood to complete the picture.

I've personally witnessed people turning away from their filthy habits to good for whatever reasons (i.e., spiritual or tragic experiences), but the miracle of having a child of your own still never fails to blow me away.

I celebrate with a good friend who has recently been introduced into the blissful realms of fatherhood. I've never been this proud at how much he has matured as a person, and I could attest that I've never seen him this happy since we first met. He wrote this song as a tribute to his Rivers of life. I imagine him making more music (to the tune of daddy-ing) in the days to come.

TAKE ME AWAY

Take me away
My river of hope,
Get me through despair.
I'm hopelessly stuck
In stagnant misery.
So take me away
My river of hope.

Take me away
My river of love,
Get me through this grief.
I'm lonelier than
A drifted dry leaf.
So take me away
My river of love.

Take me while running through your course,
and drift me away from it all.

Take me away,
Carry me on,
Drift me away,
Get me through this life.
Take me away,
Carry me on,
Drift me away
My river.

Kaloy

2005-11-18T16:44:00.000+08:00

I mentioned in one of my previous posts about my nephew Kaloy and how he has been giving me a sneak peek into that complex yet joyful universe called motherhood a lot lately. And for that, I decided to spare a while and write something about this toddler.

His mom and I go a long way back, us being first cousins and that we practically grew up together here in UP. Being the only son (as of yet), Kaloy is an extremely pampered child, as with most solong anak (only child) we have around. But what's so surprising about this kid is that he enjoys simple pleasures. Mababaw ang kaligayahan. He'd rather have your time saved up for play with him than your neatly-wrapped presents. I'd tell his mom, "You're fortunate that he's a cheap kid! At least he's not a brat." If there's fried chicken and tortang talong (eggplant omelet) served before him on the table, he'd quickly go for the talong! He prefers those 30-peso toy cars over the matchbox cars. My cousin told me that most recently, when they took him to a toy store for him to splurge as an advance Christmas treat, he picked up one of those fragile cheap remote-controlled cars (Php100 each), while his father bargained, "Are you sure you really want that?! Don't you like one of these nice (a bit expensive) race trucks instead?" But no, he wouldn't let go of his precious 100-peso car. He proudly showed it off to me when I got home from work that night.

One time, I asked him to tag along with me to a convenience store. After getting all the stuffs I need in the basket, I asked him what he wanted for himself, "Do you like ice cream cups?" He only shrugged off his shoulders and playfully shook his head in reply to my offer. I smiled at him and recalled on the side my childhood grocery trips with my mom. How I felt my world crumbling down at age 8, whenever I'd take my chances at asking her if she can get for me a tetra pack of chocolait (milk-choco drink).

And now here is Kaloy, with his aunt trying to spoil him just for 5 minutes, not clawing in!

Kids like Kaloy are not hard to please. He's very appreciative. He also happens to be my inaanak (godson), so this Christmas, I think my purse wouldn't be sore if he'd retain his "cheapness". But even far more than that, I'd go on hoarding 30 minutes of my time every single day and play cars with him. Those tender minutes with him have become a training ground for my patience, integrity (a promise is a promise) and creativity (imagine having to hold the same cars and pretend the same play everyday!).

Sometimes I wish he'd stay as a child. But since that's a hopeless wish, I just hope that he'd never forget our minutes spent together as he grows up. I had lots to thank him for.

Journals never lie

2005-11-16T00:28:00.000+08:00

Long before weblogging came into being (I think Doogie Howser with his trusted WordStar-loaded XT PC started all this *wink wink*), I was into personal journals/diaries dating to as far back into grade school. Little did I know that manifestations of my lifetime affliction of OCD could be traced back to as early as my first decade on the face of the planet.

For starters, I was just fascinated at scribbling down non-chalantly, my day-to-day activities onto a special notebook, without really meaning to reserve them neither for occasional recollections nor for mere posterity. Wala lang. Somehow, I've found serenity in those notebooks I've accumulated over the years. They have become my sanctuary.

Journals don't lie. They would never lie, this I know for sure. Buried beneath those words borne down into those pages, no matter how much these have aged over time, are the deep-seated emotions and ingrained convictions one can never deny to have ever felt or acquired. You know for certain that it was no less than you yourself, and no one else, who've had those thoughts conceived at that very moment. It's a genuine testimonial of who you are and what you have become later on.

Having said that, I never saw such chronicling as just another clichéd girly stuff. Personally, it has done absolutely far more greater impact on me. Sentimental is the appropriate adjective; only that it's rooted miles and miles deeper.

Miscellanea

2005-11-07T09:17:00.000+08:00

Some random thoughts.

I skipped blogging for a while to make room for a bit of "scholastic writing". The sem ended three weeks ago and as the new one sets right in next week, I need to take serious business of my thesis. If I'm not careful, my thesis might end up sounding like a compilation of blog entries. And that wouldn't seem like graduate school, would it?

--o0o--

One time last week, Vincent and I passed by one slum area on a confined lane on our way out (to main road) and as always, exchanged observations along the way. On days like this, we'd make use of our stock of synonyms in order to steer clear of causing offense to whoever might overhear our small discourse. Vincent's contribution that day was, "When a conflagration breaks out here, they wouldn't appreciate those flashy SUVs they or their neighbors own." "What does conflagration mean?", I queried. "Weren't you into high school journalism?", he gushed. "Tell me about it, I'm no writer.", was my casual reply. "Well in my high school, profound words are often used to transform non-controversial articles into controversial materials...conflagration is just another term for fire." What do you know? A one-syllable word could grow into four syllables overnight. Hehehe. Word play.

--o0o--

An officemate talked me into buying a small bottle of virgin coconut oil. Though the product has no therapeutic claims whatsoever, I still purchased the product anyway, for 2 reasons: (1) additional sale for my vendor; and (2) to test its "nut powers". The bottle stood for days since the first day I brought it home, until at long last I found out that my cousin was actually taking spoonfuls of it for two days now. Last night, I tried spooning one after dinner (the brochure says take one tablespoonful after every meal). Blech!!! Minutes later, I headed for the john.

--o0o--

I couldn’t get over those nice copper-brown loafers I fitted in Mendrez (shoes shop) last weekend. It was a cheap pair and yet I resisted so much not to bag it in, considering I had (read: past tense of have) extra cash to shell out at that time. And now, I’m on my knees, wishing that those were not the last pair on stock. Never mind the “new arrivals” sign posted just above it.

--o0o--

Kaloy's (my 4-year-old nephew) fondness of playing cars with me boosted up into a regular 6 o'clock habit, forcing me to quietly sneak into my room at times, especially when I'm so dead beat from work and couldn't afford to spare some time for play. Lately, this boy's been giving me a peek into motherhood and oh heavens, it's one noble calling indeed. Our little recreation made me contemplate as to what kind of a mother would I be (given that I would become a mother) in the near future, thinking how tough it would be, now that I'm just being an aunt to a nephew. Maybe motherly instincts will apply when I get there.

Chicken Little!

2005-10-19T13:29:00.000+08:00

One wave of "Peter Pan attack" coming right up in....3...2...1...

From the creators of that llama named Cuzco, who threw off my groove and sent me rolling down on my belly in hysterical laughter in The Emperor's New Groove, comes another full-length Disney animation film that will surely make me roll over once more. I felt this coming the moment I saw Boknoy (as what Vincent and I first baptized the chick) dancing in Disney channel's ad one TV evening. I was like, "First, the llama. Now, the chick!" Ha-ha-ha!!!

The film tells a story about a chick's claim of the apocalypse when he mistakes an acorn for a piece of falling sky. Though this is really just another "broken record" fable foretold (a reprise of Henny Penny), I admit it still gets the better of me (what's there to be ashamed of, anyway?). Having said that, I have this vision that this flick will soon become a member of my Disney CD collection ;-)

Chicken Little is set to hit Philippine cinema in November. Hey, that's just 2 weeks from now!

Now, watch Boknoy dance! Ha-ha-ha!!!

STIMULATE 4*

2005-10-12T09:36:00.000+08:00

In the words of Neruda, "Dies slowly he who does not relive his memories..."

At around this time last year, I had the humble opportunity of seeing the world from the other side (literally and figuratively) and was so blessed to have met incredible people that brought out the drama queen in me, just when I thought that all along, I was a rock-solid species of the bleed-dry kind (translation: shedding tears - negative). Thanks to these guys, I've had a tough time battling it all out with my Belgian withdrawal syndrome for quite a long while. Maybe for that I should blame them every now and then whenever I've got the chance...like now. How lucky can they get?!?! ;)

And so today, allow me to wind back grandfather's trusted clock a little and travel down the memory lane one more time. To make the recollection job less of a burden for me (not that it's burdensome, it's just that there's so much to amass!), I've matched up anything and everything I could fondly remember about each one of them. Formally stating his/her name and country of origin, here goes the roll...

Daisy from the Philippines. Overbaggaged; Kabayan (ask Orlando); the pasta diet; Trading off Milsa cheese tips with Irvine; Supermarket hopping with Mama Tess; Checking out Prof. Nyssen in his office and then activating the "invisible mode" button so as not to be seen, just when he's about to run into us; Picture-taking at the airports.

Happy from Swaziland. Her usual, "Hey, Christine!" greeting; Her encouraging smile; Her happiness! :)

Henock from Ethiopia. Jupiler; TV at the 2/F kitchen; Shakira's nightly unwitting victim; Bowling tips; Luz Quiroga class.

Irvine from Zimbabwe. Daily prescription of Jupiler; His favorite blue sweater he submitted to me for mending; Saving Christine's burnt rice.

Julie from Uganda. Her room that didn't exactly had the Erasmus look; Her blissful family pictures; The deep talks.

Kabyema from Zambia. His casual favor of having his picture taken in Antwerpen granted (using my camera); His videocam with my face scattered all over the clips; Splitting the 2€ salt shaker.

Mahassin, Aisha and Samira from Sudan. That day I walked with you ladies, from station Petillon to school (in Etterbeek), without ever feeling anxious about being late in class; The cheek-to-cheek greetings; Molenbeek.

Manuel from Chile. My tormentor in a doting kind of way; Coffee sessions with Orlando; His scenic photographs; WINISIS; Belgian maps; Casio scientific calculator; The free gym lessons; Roxette; Bowling at Sportopolis; Pablo Neruda; F&D Chicken (at the Grand Place) and the Friterie (in Jette)...While Orlando is the daddy, he's the uncle.

Masele from Tanzania. His HP notebook computer; Cab ride from the airport to Erasmus; His sideview pictures, his justification being, "It's realistic!". He has a point there.

Neetha from Sri Lanka. Shakira's neighbor; Her scissors I used for my milestone haircutting client; Oh, and the pink ribbons!!!

Orlando from Cuba. Mi idolo en todo!; Curse of the broken coffee machines; Coffee sessions with Manuel; Nightly Cuban 7:30 dinners; "Not yet in Jette."; "You are lost."; the orange Spanish-English-Spanish dictionary; Weekend shopping at Clemenceau and Midi; Gabriel Garcia Marquez; Our trip to the dentist; Alanis Morrisette...Oh, I have so much to tell. He's my daddy!

Rahma from Uganda. The puzzled look on her face when I asked her to pick blindly from among the souvenir pens I gave out as going-away tokens.

Sainul from India. Yahoogroup; His sweet going-away delicacy for everyone; That maroon coat-and-tie combination.

Terry from Jamaica. Cool cataloger; Her head dropping away in answer to sleep's call in class, never mind putting herself at risk of being caught by the professor. That was awesome! Ha-ha-ha!!!

Tess from the Philippines. Her confirmatory one-liners (e.g., It's getting cold, isn't it?); Super GB, Colruyt, Aldi, Del Haize, Clemenceau and Midi. I think by now you get the picture ;)

Virginia from Zambia. Her bewildered eyes whenever I broadcast the "WC" word (look at her now!); One time trip up the 3/F kitchen; Her hair-makeover after a minor surgery.

I think I did this roll calling before. Talk about deja vu.

____
*Scientific and Technological Information Management in Universities and Libraries: an Active Training Environment (Edition 4). Brussels, Belgium. 2004.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

2005-10-10T10:08:00.000+08:00

People around the world may think that Filipinos are kind of outlandish and are laying it on thick when it comes to playing Christmas songs over the radio once the "-ber" months kick in, but for me, this characteristic is genuinely a thing of the Philippine culture. I mean, where else in this blue planet can you find a spot wherein Christmas starts in September (sometimes even in late August!) and ends towards the first seven days of January the following year??!!! I may not have explored all continents inside and out, but from where I stood and what I've experienced a year ago, yes, it's only in the Philippines where one gets to feel the longest Christmas celebration ever. REALLY. You wouldn't even feel the passing of All Saints' and Souls' Days (i.e., in the west, it's called 'Halloween'; in the Philippines, it means Magandang Gabi Bayan's creepy ghost episodes) being another red-lettered event in our calendars, which comes before Christmas.

However, anticipating for this season is what actually gets me high and jumpy, and not specifically the day itself. I'd wish for clocks to stop at midnight of December 25th, or a minute before the 25th to be exact, and then inhale all the Christmas spirit I could snuffle for as much as I can, and wish for that moment to linger on. I also enjoy people-watching people caught up in the holiday hustle and bustle. Nakakatuwa!

Have you been to the malls lately? Last Saturday, I went malling around SM City (one popular chain of super malls in the country) with Vincent and Sharon (his officemate). Not surprisingly, besides finding an estimated 75% of the city's population trooping the halls of this department store, another thing that stood out were the Christmas ornaments being sold and showcased at the mall's home world department:

12-ft Christmas trees, plus things you hang up and around them. Okay, so who cares if these are plastic trees?! Real conifers don't come in red, white and yellow colors, do they? Not much excitement there.

What really fascinated me were the sets of miniature village collections (see below)! I was smiling ear-to-ear as I stood mesmerized in front of these collectibles (They pretty much don't fall under the toys category. They're more like mobile decorative stuffs) the first time I saw them two weeks ago. I'm a sucker for miniature model pieces! And so last Saturday, I elbowed aside a group of 3-year-olds enjoying the "village show" ('Parang awa mo na sa mga bata, Christine!', Vincent would plead) and took pictures of these. Much as I'd love to have them all, I'm not that cracked to purchase such expensive items (a piece costs P1,500 = around $30), thank you very much.

The Halloween village. I swear, I'd love to shrink into an inch and be able to walk around here. I liked this one more than the Christmas villages.

One of the Christmas villages. There's a cottage somewhere in there, which is supposed to be a toy factory. Ang cute-cute!!!

The other Christmas village. The carousel plus ice rink go well with the theme. Okay, forgive the nativity scene (which is kind of out of place), but what in the name of snow angel are those two cars on a dedicated "pavement" doing there?!?! Ha-ha-ha!!! Anyhow, it's clever.

Christmas in the Philippines is unparalleled!

Out of boredom

2005-10-06T15:49:00.000+08:00

Though wasted and with eyes heavily demanding sleep, still I wanted to see what's on TV last night, in the hopes of snagging a good movie that would qualify as a well-founded ground for me to stay up late. I may sound nuts but I felt like I needed to take it upon myself to sleep late because the next day would be a Thursday, my off-duty from work. And this Thursday was extra special since it also happens to be my last weekday off for this semester. Next week, I'll be shifting back to the conventional Saturday-Sunday off-duty sched.

[sidebar: We negotiate shifts and change work schedules every semester.]

Anyway, I was a bit disappointed because I ended up channel-surfing, bored to death and yet so stubborn to go to bed. With no sensible programs to watch, I ventured up into the higher channels (57, 58, 59...99) until I stopped over at channel 73: Televisión Español. Compared to the Chinese and Arabic channels, at least I could grasp and make out what I can see on the screen, I considered. I found tuning into this channel amusing; although I could only distinguish fleeting Spanish words and phrases from time to time (they speak so fast!). Thanks to this source of amusement, I did sleep late.

This morning, I switched onto TVE again. They had on a cooking show. I guess I'll be hooking up more on this station in the coming days.

Re-learning Filipino

2005-10-05T15:22:00.000+08:00

For the longest time, I've had this dilemma of writing down my compositions in STRAIGHT Filipino. Not that I'm a fluent English speaker or writer (because really, I'm not). I'm just your average next-door writer-wannabe who still advocates the use of reference tools such as thesauri and dictionaries whenever I attempt at coming up with an – quote-unquote – "article" (yes, even my thoughts in this blog!) for correct word usage and/or subject-verb agreements...But the thing is, when it comes to penning my thoughts down, I really come to grips for terminologies in Filipino. And it's not even Tagalog at that.

Lesson #1: See, Read and Listen Filipino.

When one of them asked me why it is so, I believe my answer was, "It's about time we identify ourselves as Filipinos by having a language of our own."

I began to feel the urgency to re-instate my mother tongue at the beginning of the year. I figured that the best probable way to make this all happen was to immerse myself into Philippine culture through film, literature and music. And so apart from going to the gym (though short-lived, yes, I still managed to accomplish this) and finishing my masters program (still working on it) all throughout the new year, reading and watching anything and everything Filipino became my goal. Whereas before, I find watching Tagalog movies sleazy, nowadays I'd make it a point to catch at least one film per week on cable TV, no matter what genre, NO EXCEPTIONS whatsoever. I'd force myself to digest those belonging to the elite ranks of classic masterpieces down to the distasteful, "concept less", what-a-waste-of-time-and-electricity, and-they-call-it-a-work-of-art movies; if only to face the realities of Philippine culture and society. I lost count as to how many Claudine Barretto (a local actress) films I've seen just last month alone.

Simultaneously, I also started reading selected literary pieces written by Filipino authors. Harry Potter 6 may have been an irresistible must-read, but no, I've put my foot down and didn't trade my Filipino thrillers (those being sold for 80 pesos at Powerbooks) for that. I'm almost done reading this thick book on Philippine short stories anthology. Next in my readings list are those local novels, which were once my college texts, but from now on, will be treated as if they've never been required readings in school once upon a time.

I’ve been likewise tuning into original Pilipino music (OPM) a lot lately. My MP3 player carries a mixture of Filipino songs – orchestral, ballads, alternative, pop jazz and dance music. Cool. Music has this enchanting way of touching the heart of the Filipino.

Lesson #2: Speak, and Write Filipino.

When my Latin American friends and I met for the first time, they thought that I could speak Spanish articulately. Apparently, they had this conclusion that since the Philippines had been under Spanish rule for 333 years, Filipinos still speak Spanish to this day. I corrected them and said that learning Spanish is not anymore compulsory among universities in the country (unless of course one's a student of Linguistics and/or European languages). When one of them asked me why it is so, I believe my answer was, "It's about time we identify ourselves as Filipinos by having a language of our own."

At first, I had one second of hesitation after telling them that, thinking how Filipinos nowadays (myself included) couldn't even express their thoughts in one, straight Filipino sentence. But looking back now, I know I gave them the right answer. All I need to do now, at least at my own right, is to stand by what I said. Identify myself as Filipino by using the Filipino language.

I was burning with patriotism on my coming home from a foreign land almost a year ago. With just three hours away from home, I was excited to speak my language after being inevitably constrained from doing so for almost three months. At that time, Filipino passengers predominantly inhabited my last connecting flight (Bangkok-Manila) and so somehow, that provided me with that motherland feel...or so I thought it was. I ended up feeling dismayed and bothered, hearing Filipinos speaking English (some trying hard with all their guts) left and right, front and back. It was as if these people came from America, when in fact, they were just alighting from a neighboring Asian country!

From these personal experiences, I cornered and trained myself to speak and write in straight Filipino to the best that I can.

I fondly remember this classmate I had in one of my anthropology classes (I took anthro electives in college and graduate school) three semesters ago. He was a Philippine studies major (and a college professor at the same time) who speaks excellent Filipino. I was just awestricken, as he would recite in pure Filipino and even translate his reports for class discussions (his was on Ruth Benedict, a proponent in cultural anthropology) from the original English texts into Filipino! Astig! It was like music to my ears every time he speaks in class. I became his avid fan from afar. I secretly wished that he would leak out even a puny drop of his Filipino prowess and infect me with it.

From these personal experiences, I cornered and trained myself to speak and write in straight Filipino to the best that I can. I kicked off by writing my thesis correspondences in Filipino. It proved to be backbreaking, having to translate English thoughts into Tagalog (I discovered that I've been thinking in English most of the time, more than in Filipino. Imagine that! It's the other way around. Baliktad na utak 'ko). I found that even more difficult than translating Filipino words/phrases into English.

Yesterday, I drafted an official communication I was meaning to send out to government offices around town, and I wrote it in Filipino. It took me an hour to finish that concise, 3-paragraph letter and was not even confident at that, so I had my boss proofread/edit it for me. That one letter costed me a pail of perspiration, but it's okay. I'll get used to it in time.

I may be re-learning my Filipino, but don't you put me to the emotional extremes. That's when I speak (spoken, not written) fluent English the most ;)

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Note: Most of my posts (including this one, though my subject is about
Filipino, et al.) were written in English to foster wider readership, as I
assume there are non-Filipino readers of this blog.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

In memory of a former schoolmate

2005-09-26T08:19:00.000+08:00

Two years ago, I ran into an old friend while I was on my way back home from someplace I don't even remember where. The moment she stepped inside that public utility jeepney, she was the first one to tap me on the knee and recognized me instinctively. Since she was only 500 meters nearby from the jeepney stop to her place, we only had a couple of minutes to chat but had ample time to exchange numbers. I noticed the gleam in her eyes, as if to say, "At last, I finally met someone...ELSE." We both pledged to call each other up. She was the first one to pick up the phone.

She belonged to that clique which I labeled "schoolmates". As opposed to "classmates", I described this category as those girls who were flocked together by the same school I was going, but didn't really belong to the same crowd whatsoever. She and I even rode the same jeepney service (our version of the school bus) together in grade school. My years of riding off to school have earned me quite a lot of buddies as I was growing up.

[Sidebar: It's been ages since she and I have seen each other. We lost touch after sophomore high.]

After that abrupt meeting, she'd remind me of her presence every now and then whenever she can. I myself was eager to catch up with her and apportioned some time for her whenever I can. From these encounters, I got to know what's been keeping her. I discerned how lonely and depressed she was. How I encouraged her not to feel horrible about herself and look at the brighter side of things. I tried hard to win her self-confidence back and egged her into carrying on with her life with her chin held up high. From that time on, we were no longer just former schoolmates. We've reconnected as friends.

I became used to her occasional afternoon calls at work, though these calls lasted for only 2 or 3 minutes every time. Until one bustling day, she called me up yet again but I was too swamped to come to the phone. I gestured to my officemate to just get my caller's message and tell her that I'm going to call her 'round back. That one slipped off my mind, thus, she never got the call I promised to give her that day.

I received no more calls from her since then. That was the last of it. She will never call. I will never hear her hopeful voice ever again. It's been two years.

Thank you Grace, for teaching me how 3-minute phone calls make a difference. You'll always be in my heart.

Sending off Marcky

2005-09-22T14:55:00.000+08:00

I discovered not too long ago that the "going away" thing really gets me emotional. I can only do so much to hold it all up.

After more than a month-long vacation (which was not totally all hols for him, I later found out), my good friend Marc's off once again for yet another grueling academic year in Brussels (currently into graduate school majoring in human ecology at the VUB). He's leaving tomorrow, so Yani and I met up and had refreshments (literally and figuratively) with him last night. Apparently, Marc's been going around practically the whole day "collecting" bilins (material and non-material favors) from friends and families of Belgium-based Filipino students (it has been a tradition since time immemorial). I'm really glad he spared some time with us.

We had about 90 minutes of reminiscing and hearty fruit shake laughters, as usual. Why, it was around this time last year when Marc and I first met in Brussels! Along with Yani (who just recently got back from Brussels herself), we all recounted our Pinoy dinners and hand-me-down-your-wares sessions in his warm flat at E-links. We talked of euros for pesos. How we wept uncontrollably on the day of my flight back home and last minute Christmas-spend-time suggestions with other Pinoys in the block. It was wonderful.

As we escorted him and his friend Annie (was it?) to the cab that'll take him to his next rendezvous, it dawned on me how much I missed his company. It's not that we come from different countries and not see each other again ever, but it's really tough to bid goodbye, or even see you later. Argh!

By the way, he may not know this but here's my confession. It was actually Marc who inspired me to start blogging. Dearie, I owe you big!

Gowns I wish to put on

2005-09-21T14:32:00.000+08:00

I got these from E! Online's Emmys red carpet. Fortunately for these ladies, I'm still learning my Photoshop (I just need to leap from the basics). Or else I would've cropped and pasted my face on each one of these. Hehehe ;-)

The beautiful Marcia Cross. Ain't she a doll?!!! Her emerald dress tops my favorites in this catalog.

I like the folds and color. Simple but elegant.

This one's a classic design for me. White top with elaborate patterns and plain black petticoats. I like it.

I imagine other colors would’ve been prettier for this dress, aside from royal blue. But still, this one's a head-turner.

I noticed these are all strapless gowns. If I were to wear them, oh my goodness. I'd have a BIG problem. Go figure.