I had yet another close encounter with one that's not at all too easy to deal with. My heart.
The dilemma knocked first when I had to accomplish one responsibility that I have neglected for almost a year now (which is not pretty); unintentionally at first, then deliberately of late. Next time it did was just a couple of minutes ago, when I had to finally decide to reply to my father's messages.
I really wanted to write about my angst and annoyance over things rebelling in my heart, but now that my head is in its place, that original plan has changed.
It's true though. The heart can be deceiving. After mulling over what has just transpired within me, I came face to face with the convictions (whatever scraps that's left) of my heart. Follow your heart is the popular proverb, but I say follow your heart and then put some brain into it.
As for my first tight rope, I had to face the consequences of my negligence. Never mind if people surrounding it would abuse the fruit that's not rightfully theirs. What matters most is that I didn't have to perjure myself and teach others to be likewise untruthful. I played it clean and it felt awesome.
For the next leg of the rope, I had to twist my arm and wrestle more to be meek. It wasn't a candy-flavored pill to swallow, but God rallied me round to win this battle over. That communication breakthrough was indeed, my next big leap.
The dilemma knocked first when I had to accomplish one responsibility that I have neglected for almost a year now (which is not pretty); unintentionally at first, then deliberately of late. Next time it did was just a couple of minutes ago, when I had to finally decide to reply to my father's messages.
I really wanted to write about my angst and annoyance over things rebelling in my heart, but now that my head is in its place, that original plan has changed.
It's true though. The heart can be deceiving. After mulling over what has just transpired within me, I came face to face with the convictions (whatever scraps that's left) of my heart. Follow your heart is the popular proverb, but I say follow your heart and then put some brain into it.
As for my first tight rope, I had to face the consequences of my negligence. Never mind if people surrounding it would abuse the fruit that's not rightfully theirs. What matters most is that I didn't have to perjure myself and teach others to be likewise untruthful. I played it clean and it felt awesome.
For the next leg of the rope, I had to twist my arm and wrestle more to be meek. It wasn't a candy-flavored pill to swallow, but God rallied me round to win this battle over. That communication breakthrough was indeed, my next big leap.
Bicol express (local dish) never tasted that perfect for quite a while. The overwhelming Christmas buffets I've devoured these past days were in no match to my humble lunch today. I savored my hearty lunch guiltlessly, and it was blissful.
1 comment:
i can relate. had the same with my tatay. but we were able to do something about it. and i want to stress on the 'we' and not me or him alone.
happy new year christine! here's to more big leaps in 2006!
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