Los echo de menos...tanto

I know I suck at Spanish, but I care not. I miss them.

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Her tranquil spirit

I seem to have let slip days such as this just like your regular January Saturdays. Regretfully, for many years now, it has just become a mental note and nothing more. How can I be so ephemeral about something that's so perpetual?

She's invincible as if she can take on the whole world whenever I am around her. She can blend her authoritativeness with a stroke of gentleness that is so distinctly hers. She laughs like Jurassic Park was the funniest movie she's ever caught on T.V.

I am the product of her devotion. I take after her resilience. I am invincible because of her still presence.

If the shoe fits, then wear it

It is not like my fate has been sealed in its entirety. I just happen to reach another fork in my road.

Sure, Charles Darwin was right about the evolution; that those who are the most responsive to change are the ones that survive, and not the strongest nor the most intelligent of the species. I still hold on to this fact (yes, it is factual to me), though...and there goes my fork lying ahead of me.

Sure, I will adapt. But I would most definitely want to shun the clinging arrogance. Come on, girl. Let go of that shoe. Shake it off and let it retire. You have got a bigger shoe waiting to fill in.

It used to be simple

As told by a 10-year-old lad in love:

"Love is not just about saying words..."
"Love is making that grand leap..."
"Love is going an extra mile, even when it hurts..."

In truth, I was never a fan of romantic tales (some close friends even think I lack love potion in my veins). I would cringe and squirm at its mushy sensation/effect on me. But when kids talk of "making that grand leap" in love, that is when romance woos my heart. If and only if for this reason alone, I can afford to be mushy.

I guess the subject on love evolves as one grows old and gains full access to its sweetness and bitterness over time. Once upon a time, it used to be so simple. For kids, there are no buts. Everything is absolute (absolutely yes or no). No reservations, whatsoever. On the other hand, for adults, love begins to come in degree/s. What was once deemed uncomplicated somehow cultivated complexities along the way. Consequently, loving has become conditional. And unconditional love does not come easy nowadays.

Luckily, it is never too late to have a child-like heart in love. You can always make that rebound and be a child again.

Wow. That was me talking.

Fleeting by...

While I was typing my work away, a wistful thought caught five seconds of my monotony as it cruises along swiftly by. For the first time, I consented the thought and finally, broke into an approving smile.

Minutes have passed and yet the persistent smile on my face refuses to go away still.

I am on cloud 9.

TagLish: some lessons learned

We Filipinos are so used to speaking "hybrid" Tagalog almost everyday of our lives that we unconsciously let pass grammatical rules. I mean, it is bound to be grammar insensitive (sinasabotahe na nga natin ang dalawang wika e), but lately, I have become mindful about this; at least at my own perusal. Been guilty of murdering two languages simultaneously. I figured that maybe, I can correct word agreement/s in TagLish.

[DISCLAIMER: I am not being prescriptive here. I maybe wrong somewhere but as far as I am concerned, these observations have earned me positive effects. Mine are just suggestions.]

Talking from experience (of a convicted murderer of Tagalog and English), I learned that should you combine a Tagalog superlative with an English noun/verb/adjective, you should want to retain the base form (i.e., root word) of the English word. For instance, instead of saying "pinaka-latest" (i.e., latest), you might want to use "pinaka-late". Or when using Tagalog in comparative form, retaining the English root word wouldn't be ear-grating. For example, "mas clear" (i.e., more clear) instead of "mas clearer".

Another thing is using Tagalog prefixes along with English verb tense/s (past, present, future). I suppose retaining the present tense of the English verb would be the best option when combined with a Tagalog prefix. Such as "na-overhear" (i.e., overheard) in place of "na-overheard". The former sounds better that way. The same rule applies to suffixes. We are more comfortable with "attend-an" (i.e., had attended) and we do not use "attended-an" for that matter.

Bottom line is: whatever Tagalog prefix/suffix you append, the base form of the English word stays as it is.

So much for grammar talk.

I count my blessings

Growing up wouldn't be a million times as much fun without these important ladies in my life. To them I would credit a huge chunk of which I was and what I have become today. If it weren't for these gals, I wouldn't have any reason at all to put a big smile on my face whenever I look back at my childhood and puberty years. My life would never be the same!

I've been meaning to write about my personal who's who but haven't had the chance to do so, until now. And since it's the start of a brand new year (and at New Year, the timing revolves around the themes of new beginnings, gratefulness, etc.), I figured that now is the best time to write about them.

The three of us share a colorful childhood together in UP. I first met Nimfa one nap-time afternoon (Like most average kids with parents scolding their children to siesta after lunch, yes, I too would sneak out of my hawk-eyed mom just when I'm really sure she's dropped into her peaceful afternoon slumber. He-he-he) and played lutu-lutuan (Pretend-play cooking. I still do that in a real kitchen by the way) for the first time. We've become enduring best friends ever since. We've been through crests and troughs together. Even though we don't see each other now quite as often as before, we're both secure about our friendship. Whenever we see/speak to each other, however seldom it may be, we still connect! We still finish each other's sentences. And hey, we've been friends for almost 25 years now (There, there. Now you can guess how young I am *wink wink*)!

We (Nimfa and I) met Irene I think about a year later. I'm not quite sure how I met her (Irene, sweetie, if ever you see this post, please help refresh my memory), but the only recollection I ever have of meeting her for the first time was that she and Nimfa were classmates in school. And oh yes, she was definitely a part of the siesta sneak-outs. That would make the three of us at that time (smiles). We'd laze around a monkey bar (we called it the 'gymnastics') not too far from our homes, revealed each other's secrets there and dreamt together. We've harbored our friendship roots way too deep. This girl’s a one tough cookie. I personally think that of us three, she was the one who really went through with a lot...and survived. With that, I admire her for her determination.

We may be living our own separate lives now (Nimfa is happily married and a fulfilled mother to a 5-year old smart boy, while Irene is based in Manhattan, NY finishing her studies), but we sure agree on one thing: that no matter where we are and where life would take us, we'll be the best of friends.

Love you, guys.

Getting cold feet

Literally.

Temperature out here has gone down remarkably over the past couple of days. Considered cold for a tropic bred. Been wearing my toe socks (Manuel calls them the funny socks, but Vincent thinks they're scary, especially when I wiggle my toes! Ha-ha-ha!!!) to sleep lately. I own three pairs but among those, this is the pair that I seldom put on. Unlike the other two, this one's lengthier (way up knee-high) and warmer. Built for winter (I used to wear this stuff back in Belgium). Guess these socks will be at work until the next month or so.

Looking at a brand new haircut

I believe by this time, most adults "in touch with their inner souls" may have already done some reflecting about their own version of life in 2005, eventually arriving at a handful take of resolutions to their name. Vows that are either noted down mentally and then sincerely tacked on the corkboard; or scribbled in water. 8 days into 2006 and I'm just starting to look back.

[Sidebar: I'm not aspiring to become a drama queen here, but the succeeding sections of this post may sound melodramatic as I go. No big deal. Just a fair warning.]

2005 had been a very challenging year for me. A tough one at that, really. I was confronted with a battery of struggles that not just once put my convictions to the test. Many times I tried hard to beg off wrestling, but then again in the end, I had no other choice but to face the music that these challenges play. It's not easy to play along, especially when the rules get thorny. Fortunately, I somehow managed to get by and well, here I am. Still alive and blogging :)

Although I've had my share of regrets, looking back now I realized that there will always be one or two scraps left that are worth the taking. If there were only three things I'd value about last year, that would probably be one of them. Possessing such misgivings inspired me to reinstate within me the importance of forgiving oneself (which is by far, one of the hardest things for me to do), and then when equipped with penitence, change for the better...Easier said than done, huh? But like what I've said, it's worth my two cents.

Above all, I am grateful for EVERYTHING -- every single thing that has come about in my life last year. Despite my shortcomings, God has blessed me just the same. Incredible relationships tied, witnessing my loved ones' dreams materializing, my academic drive (go graduate school!), my bedroom renovated (about time!), learning how to cook leche flan...I can go on and on. Basta. I am just thankful for all of these.

I don't know what's in store for me this year. I've got my partial list of personal goals but am not posting it here (hehehe). For the meantime, I'm sporting a new haircut. That's a good "head" start.